Suri Cruise, the daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, is jealous that her daddy gets to sashay around the house in sparkly kitten heels, so he got her a pair of her very own which she wore while shopping in Boston with that weepy robot woman who really needs an alien exorcism.

Children, do not try this at home!

This is another one of Katie Holmes advertisements for the Spring 2009 campaign for Miu Miu. Katie is putting her hand in the fire and not even making an “ow!” face?! Fire is no match for a robot. She’s so fucking digitally altered that even Second Life avatars look more realistic than she does.

Katie Holmes was spotted out and about in New York yesterday with a crusty wad of herpetic boils in the corner of her mouth. Tom’s “absolutely no kissing under any circumstances whatsoever” policy finally pays off! Score!