Forbes today named little Suri Cruise the most powerful celebrity toddler. No, seriously, Forbes felt the roughly ten billion lists they have on their website weren’t enough and they’re now ranking toddlers. Via the San Francisco Chronicle:

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ daughter, Suri, has been named the World’s Most Powerful toddler. A new poll by Forbes magazine has put the two-year-old ahead of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s brood of kids in the search for the most influential child under the age of five. The top 10 is as follows:

1. Suri Cruise
2. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
3. Zahara Jolie-Pitt
4. Pax Jolie-Pitt
5. Sam Alexis Woods (daughter of golf ace Tiger Woods)
6. Cruz Beckham
7. Matilda Rose Ledger (daughter of actress Michelle Williams and the
late Heath Ledger)
8. David Banda
9. Sean Preston Federline
10. Sam Sheen (daughter of Charlie Sheen and ex-wife Denise Richards).

The fact that Suri’s the ”World’s Most Powerful Toddler” is impressive. But you know what’s more impressive? Not crapping your pants. Newsflash people: Other than the smell that wafts from their diapers, there’s nothing “powerful” about a toddler.

Katie Holmes apparently decided to celebrate Halloween early this year, and as you can see, she’s dressed up as a vampiric cult victim who just had her soul freshly sucked out of her body. That’s awesome. I’m totally going as that next year.

Katie Holmes was photographed leaving her New York apartment a few days ago with a set of snagglers that rivaled Kirsten Dunst’s. God damn. What happened to her lovely Hollywood smile? First the hair, and now this. Being married to Tom Cruise must be like being married to a damn Nazgûl, only with more maniacal laughing and obligatory butt sex.