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She can’t possibly think that looks good! Shauna needs to put down that iPod and pick up a piece of chicken or something — you must have an eating disorder if your boobs weigh more than you! I’ve seen Somali refugees that looked more nourished. On the bright side, for only $25 a month, you, too, can sponsor Shauna. Receive pictures, monthly status reports, and more!

International model and soon-to-be Oscar nominee, Phoebe Price, showed the paparazzi that she does not have cellulite after these bikini pictures made there way onto the internet (and probably every major high fashion magazine in the universe) yesterday.

That’s scary. I didn’t know it was physically possible to be that white. Anne Frank had a better tan than this bitch.

Nothing warms my heart quite like a Joe Francis getting sued story - so I’m elated to report this morning that Ashley Alexandra Dupre is suing Francis to the tune of $10 million for filming her underage and exploiting her likeness.

Francis said he was “surprised and in fact amazed” by the lawsuit, noting he has not released new video of Dupre “due to corporate policy of not using footage of individuals younger than 18″ and asserting she gave her consent on video, providing identification.

I’m sure there’s a big gray area with intricate legal nuances to determine who’s culpable here… But when it comes down to it? If Joe Francis rescued a bunch of orphans and puppies from an ax-wielding murderer, and the murderer sued Joe Francis for injuries sustained - I’d be the first to donate half my paycheck to afford that murdering sonofabitch the best damn legal representation money can buy. So there’s pretty much no way I’m not going to take the side of the five thousand dollar whore. Or should I say, ten million dollar whore - right, Ashley? Ka-ching!