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YouTube sensation Shane Mercado made his debut appearance on The Bonnie Hunt Show yesterday, dancing his little gay heart out to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies.” And just like that, you’ve just witnessed the tangible embodiment of Sasha Fierce. It’s called Shane Mercado. For the record, this is the first time in recorded history that putting on a Speedo and a nipple shirt and videotaping yourself dancing in your dorm room didn’t end with a beating and a Texas wedgie. I personally credit my high-steppin’ version of “Fame” for paving the way for syncopated geniuses like Shane. Long live the unitard!

Just in case you had the gall to think Madonna and A-Rod’s relationship didn’t go deeper than bench presses and fucking, she’ll have you know he has the deep and complex soul of a poet. So there.

Sources close to Madge tell the Chicago Sun-Times she’s so smitten with her rumored Yankee lover, she informed a close pal he “has the heart of a poet trapped inside an insanely gorgeous body.” Rodriguez, meanwhile, has been writing “sweet, personal and rambling expressions of his feelings,” the paper reports. “Sort of like old-fashioned love notes.”

Aw. That’s sweet. And A-Rod has been telling his friends that Vadge has the vagina of a T-Rex on Hulk’s body.

Look out Britney and Jamie Lynn - there’s a new white trash queen in Louisiana! And she even had the crown to prove it. Until yesterday, that is. Miss Teen Louisiana 2008 Lindsey Evans has been stripped of her title after being arrested for theft and possession of marijuana. TMZ says:

Evans was arrested this weekend after she and a group of friends allegedly tried to dine-and-dash over a $46.07 bill. Problem — the pageant queen left her purse at the scene of the crime. She went back to retrieve it, and was busted when cops found pot in the purse.

The skanks at the Miss Louisiana Teen USA organization said they don’t know what to do with her yet. Well, she might lose her crown.

I give Lindsey an 8.5 for her mug shot. I like the pageant smile, but a beauty queen should always wear their crown when getting their picture taken. That would have given her a perfect 10.