Madonna and her bulging biceps frightened onlookers in London yesterday. I would say more about the situation, but I’m semi-seriously afraid Madge would fly to US and beat the holy shit out of me.

Lara Flynn Boyle used to be goddess hot back in the day. This past weekend, though, she looked like the bride of Michael Jackson.

The woman has guppy face! I want to throw her in a glass bowl and feed her flakes.

Here’s Lara leaving Mr. Chow last night in Beverly Hills. This is a warning to all you ladies out there: don’t fuck with your face!

Star Magazine claims Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt made it official in New Orleans saturday. I just hope Maddox officiated the ceremony.

Somewhere in the world, Jennifer Aniston is devouring a whole gallon of Breyers.

OK! Magazine reports that Brad’s spokswhore has “no idea” if the got married or not. That helps. It was probably a play wedding the kids were staging the backyard.