Halle Berry is pregnant and apparently, still continuing to forge a meaningful, longterm relationship with a boyfriend who is not you. From where I sit, it’s tough to sympathize too much, because it’s not me, either. One of Halle’s friends, who has a mouth bigger than Paris Hilton’s crotch cave, said that she conceived her first baby through in vitro fertilization and her second through artificial insemination.

The friend went on to yap, “She’s just ecstatic to be pregnant again. She wasn’t sure if she’d have another baby, so she’s very happy!”

Halle’s rep put his hand and refused to comment on this.

I was sorta surprised that these pictures of a topless Halle Berry are from the set of Frankie and Alice. I guess Halle Berry’s career has been stinking ever since she won an Oscar so she has to fall back on showing her titties again. Good move.

Esquire magazine has named Halle Berry the “Sexiest Woman Alive” for 2008. She told the magazine:

Does being the sexiest woman alive imply that I know a thing or two about what’s sexy and, possibly, about sex itself? I’m not sure, but here’s what I do know: I know damned well I’m sexier now than I used to be. Let me make an argument here — not so much for me, or even for my age being sexy, but for what I’ve learned. I’ve picked up a little over the years. Sexy is not about wearing sexy clothes or shaking your booty until you damn near get hip dysplasia; it’s about knowing that sexiness is a state of mind — a comfortable state of being. It’s about loving yourself even in your most unlovable moments. I know a little bit about that.

Well, good for Halle Berry. Good for all the new Hollywood mothers out there in the magical fantasy land of nannies and personal trainers and on-staff chefs and Hydromassage. For the rest of us, becoming a new mom isn’t a exactly a time of sexual rebirth and discovery. In fact, I’m pretty sure the only thing that could make your libido dry up quicker than having a newborn is maybe packing your vagina full of salt and then burying it in lime.