These are the “shocking” photos of Angelina Jolie from Andrew Morton’s new unauthorized biography that Star magazine claimed were going to “rip her and Brad apart.” Well, I don’t know about you, but I know I was certainly shocked when I saw them. Shocked by how fucking lame they were, I mean. Gaffer tape and a dog leash? Come on! It’s Angelina Jolie, for chrissakes! The only people these photos would shock are 90-year-old grandmas who still think it’s 1930. I’ve seen more outrageous outfits at a Walmart.

Angelina Jolie sort-of confirmed that she will be playing Marilyn Monroe in an upcoming movie at the UK premiere of “Salt” last night — a big screen adaptation of a book written from the perspective of the iconic screen siren’s dog. I’ll give you a minute to process that. The Daily Mail says:

The actress is set to play Monroe in an adaptation of Andrew O’Hagan’s “The Life And Opinions Of Maf The Dog And Of His Friend Marilyn Monroe,” the author revealed at the Edinburgh Book Festival yesterday.

And George Clooney has been lined up to play Monroe’s close friend Frank Sinatra, O’Hagan confirmed, adding that production on the film would begin soon.

When asked about the film [on the red carpet at the UK premiere of "Salt"], she laughed and said she “would have to call and ask George Clooney” about it.

They should make this a CGI film like Garfield. Don’t forget the 3D either. What better way to tell a ridiculous story of Marilyn Monroe than with ridiculous current technology?! Is what I would say if I was a studio executive.

Here’s Angelina being glittery at the UK premiere of Salt.

I don’t do many posts on Angelina Jolie but I have no choice when she shows up to the Salt Premiere looking like the finest piece of ass in Hollywood. Angelina who is skinnier than a roach clip on a roach’s joint, shocked everyone last night by wearing a strapless black dress with nude heels!!! She might be crazy and her legs sort of look like she’s been in a wheelchair for the past 3 years, but she’s still one of the hottest women on earth.