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Samantha Ronson finally poured some Henna over that toilet water blonde mop she’s been working for sooooo long. I don’t know how to feel about this. However, Samantha Ronson fully transformed into a dude. Congratulations Sam and let me be the first to welcome you to the wonderful world of peeing standing up.

Here’s more of Sam and her lezzzzzzzzzbian lover going to lunch (not at Jack in the Crack) and buying dumb shit in Los Angeles.

Wait, stop me if you’ve heard this one - Lindsay Lohan was … uh, yeah, no bra. Right. I figured you had. You probably have the internet at home or something. I’m really starting to feel like I should buy Lindsay Lohan some flowers or something. Or whatever the proper etiquette is when you see somebody else’s tits more than your girlfriend’s.

Lindsay Lohan was hospitalized early Sunday morning after being sideswiped by a motorbike. According to the NY Post

With sapphic sidekick Samantha Ronson by her side, Lohan was hit by a moving bike “outside a club on 32nd Street,” the movie starlet’s dad Michael Lohan confirmed. “She’s not hurt. That’s all I really care about,” Lohan said of his oldest daughter.

LiLo was taken to Beth Israel Medical Center and released at 4 a.m. [the same day].

Whoever hit Lohan’s ass, did it on purpose. It’s just natural instinct. You’re riding down the street, you see Lohan walking out of a club, and you can’t help but want to hit her ass. 25 points!