Aug 23, 2008 in Knocked Up, Melanie C | 0 Comments
Melanie C (a.k.a. Sporty Spice) is expecting her first child, according to the Daily Mail:
The 34-year-old singer announced the news on her website today.
Mel C said: ‘Some happy news. Well, I can now announce that Tom and I are expecting a baby and we are very happy. As I’m sure you’ll understand we needed time to wait for results and tell our families. I will be taking it easy but am also excited to start writing for the fifth album. I will need to take some time off to be a mum but, before you know it, we’ll be back.’
I’m seriously considering a permanent move to Mars. You all can stay and drown in dirty diapers, mashed carrot slobber and green wet caca. Eff global warming! Babies are the real threat!
May 30, 2008 in Knocked Up, Clay Aiken | 0 Comments
So I get home from the gym yesterday evening, and turn on the old computer to be greeted with the headline, “Clay Aiken to be a Father.” After slapping myself in the face repeatedly to make sure I didn’t drop dead of a heart attack on the treadmill and went to gossip blogger heaven, I read on. So many questions! Who? How? Why? How again?! I’ll let Us Weekly field these burning inquiries:
Idol Clay Aiken’s producer is pregnant with his child, TMZ.com reports. Jaymes Foster (who is reportedly in her late 40s) was artificial inseminated with the 29-year-old singer’s sperm, according to the report.
Aiken lives with Foster - described as his “best friend” - when he’s in L.A. and plans to be involved with parenting their child.
Well of course if Clay Aiken was going to be a father it’d have to be freaky-deeky Michael Jackson turkey baster sex to some lesbian almost twice his age. Because you know the alternative is too horrific to even imagine. Step aside, Thomas Beatie - you are no longer of interest to me.
Apr 9, 2008 in Tori Spelling, Knocked Up | 0 Comments
I blame it on Demi Moore. That goddamn Vanity Fair photo shoot she did back in 1991 basically achieved the same result that we’d get if we turned off our spam filters - essentially, leaving the door wide fucking open for any riffraff to just come strolling on in to ruin it for everyone.
And as if Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears weren’t bad enough, now there’s this. I don’t know who convinced Tori Spelling it’d be a good idea to pose for bikini pics while eight months pregnant but, congratulations, I hate you.
