Ellen DeGeneres has signed on to replace Paula Abdul on American Idol, according to People:

“DeGeneres will sit alongside Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Kara DioGuardi and offer her own unique perspective to the contestants throughout the competition,” Fox television says in a statement.
DeGeneres, 51, begins her stint after the audition rounds, which have featured a rotating group of celebrity guest judges including Shania Twain, Victoria Beckham, Mary J. Blige, Joe Jonas and Kristin Chenoweth.
“I’m going to have a day job and a night job,” DeGeneres said at her talk show taping Wedneday, assuring her audience that The Ellen DeGeneres Show will continue. “This is so exciting for me.”

I just hope that either Ellen or Ryan Gaycrest dye their hair another color, because we are going to have a bitch of a time trying to figure out who is who!

And for those of you wondering if Ellen Degeneres has any singing experience, I present this to you:

THE CRAZY HAS LEFT THE BUILDING I REPEAT THE CRAZY HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

After weeks of speculation, Paula Abdul finally announced her departure from American Idol. Her Coke mug has run dry. Paula, surprisingly lucid, posted on her Twitter:

With sadness in my heart, I’ve decided not to return to #IDOL. I’ll miss nurturing all the new talent, but most of all… I’ll miss nurturing all the new talent, but most of all being a part of a show that I helped from day1become an international phenomenon. What I want to say most, is how much I appreciate the undying support and enormous love that you have showered upon me. It truly has been breathtaking, especially over the past month.

I guess leaving Idol isn’t all bad for Paula. Now she can really get a good head start on hoarding buttons and playing dress up with her sixteen cats and hiding in the bushes so she can catch the neighborhood kids ringing her doorbell. Or whatever else it is crazy ladies do when they’re not in production on a hit TV show.

Alexis Cohen aka Glitter Girl who auditioned for seasons 7 and 8 of American Idol but never made it to Hollywood was killed over the weekend in a hit and run. According to TMZ:

Alexis Cohen was struck on a road in Seaside Heights, New Jersey. Her body was found by two pedestrians 350 yards from Cohen’s parked car. She suffered chest, head and abdominal injuries.

Cohen received notoriety for her post-audition rant in Season 7.

Alexis first auditioned for American Idol during season 7. The judges didn’t give her a golden ticket which caused her to launch into a rant where she told Simon Cowell to fuck off and said she was going to pursue actressing (!!!!).

Alexis cleaned up her look and auditioned again the next season, but she was also rejected. And she once again, delivered a giant F U to Simon.

I’d like to think that Alexis is sitting up in heaven, still flipping Simon off.