VIPRUMOR.com

Britney Spears - in a moment of divine lucidity - has apparently agreed to terms with Kevin Federline over the custody of their two children, the terms being that Federline gets full physical and legal custody, while Britney gets visitiation rights, so long as its done in a padded cell while that crazy bitch is strapped down to a gurnee with a ball-gag in her mouth (those were the actual words in the settlement agreement, I believe).

K-Fed and his entourage of Funions has credited the deal to the influence of Britney’s father, who is now her co-conservator. At the end of the month, a judge will decide if Jamie Spears should be her full-time co-conservator. In other words, whether that crazy bitch should have someone hold her hand for the rest of her life. And, according to F-Fed’s lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan:

“While I can’t tell you the terms, the order does anticipate what happens if the conservatorship is ended,” Kaplan told E! News. “The devil is always in the details.”

The devil also lives inside of Britney’s mind, and it’s only a matter of time before Satan builds a tolerance to tranquilizers and compels Britney to eat her children. With some Cheetos and a nice Chianti.

Kevin Federline, who is famous solely for infiltrating Britney Spears’ vagina, celebrated his 30th birthday with a party at Pure Nightclub this weekend like someone who is deservedly famous for some valid reason.

Throughout the night, Federline and his group sang along to tunes by Jay-Z, Kanye West and other hip-hop artists. At one point, the deejay played Federline’s own “Lose Control,” a song familiar to the club considering its music video was shot there in 2006. Close to midnight, Federline danced on the couch at his table and held up a California license plate that read “FDRLINE”, all while drinking Jack Daniels.

I just hope no one forgot to bring his Burger King crown. That’d have been a real shame.

Kevin Federline is celebrating his 30th birthday at Pure nightclub in Las Vegas. Page Six claims he’s being paid $175,000 for the appearance. A source told them:

“Kevin is a big spender, and a draw for the crowds. So the money he gets is nothing compared to the money they make. Kevin is hoping Britney will be able to have time with the boys for a few days while he is gone, but it all depends on how she is doing at the time. Also, Kevin has to feel confident that Jamie [Spears] will make sure the boys are watched over at all times while she is with them. Kevin loves Vegas and would like to make a party time out of it.”

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