VIPRUMOR.com

Everything is right with the world again. Paris Hilton is single and Lindsay Lohan has been getting trashed every night in London for the past week. Look at those bags under her eyes. Anyway, Lohan and Ronson got into a fight in London last night over a big dick named Calum Best. Lohan used to rub her worn-out kitty all over Calum’s Gouda peen and the two met up again at a club. A source said Lohan and Calum danced together which made Samantha Ronson one angry lezzie. Lohan and Samantha apparently started fighting which ended in both of them leaving the club.

They got into the car together, but when they arrived back at their hotel, Samantha stormed off in a cloud of saw dust. You know, because lezzies like wood working and stuff. Yeah, the joke doesn’t really work if I have to explain it in detail. Just give me an endearing look and continue eating your panini.

Lohan stayed behind in the car for around 10-minutes. One source said, “It was quite clear something was up. Lindsay had tears in her eyes as she left.”

Okay, you know shit is bad when you’re fighting about Calum Best! The douche isn’t even hot when you look at him upside down while jacking it. Almost everyone is hot when your head and genitals are fighting for blood flow. Don’t look at me that way!

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson’s rumored wedding is gonna have to be put on hold. California voters last night narrowly passed Proposition 8, which eliminates the right of same-sex couples to marry. Lohan is holding out hope due to a loophole in the law which allows marriage “if your partner looks like she probably has a penis.”

Samantha and Lindsay are still on a big lezzie holiday in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. Is there such a thing as too much Lindsay Lohan in a bikini? Ha ha, of course not! That’s like asking if there can be too much blue sky or too much Wild Turkey Bourbon in your morning coffee.. But I have one simple request; can you Paparazzi guys stop putting Sam in the shots? You’re killing everything that is good about them, including my erection.