Ashton Kutcher posted a picture of wife Demi Moore’s ass on his Twitter account over the weekend without her knowing it. He wrote:

Watching my wife steam my suit while wearing a bikini. I love God!
9:43 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck

I’m not wearing the bikini she is that’s what makes it so glorious
9:46 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck

Shhh don’t tell wifey
10:11 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck

Oh, that’s right, boys. If there’s one thing that ladies love, it’s your posting semi-nude pictures of them on the internet without their knowledge or consent. Next to slipping them a roofie and videotaping yourself violating their unresponsive body, it’s practically the only guaranteed way to melt a girl’s heart. Wrist restraints are a close second.

Rumer Willis used to have pictures of stepdad Ashton Kutcher on her wall. Awk-ward. She told Cosmo (UK):

“It was strange when mom started seeing Ashton in 2003. I was 15 and he was a real heartthrob – I had pictures of him on my wall! I remember mom saying her new ‘friend’ was going to hang out with us. I said, ‘What’s his name?’ And she goes, ‘Ashton.’ And I said, ‘Whoa – Ashton Kutcher?’ I freaked out a bit and blushed. When he came round, though, it wasn’t awkward. I realized I’d never seen my mother happier. It was like watching two 16-year-olds going to the prom!” (Source)

Weird. One minute her index finger is named Ashton Kutcher, and the next her father is. This story’s actually got me thinking. What would I do if Megan Fox suddenly became my stepmom? Besides the obvious “drill a hole in the bathroom wall” and “riffle through her underwear drawer on a daily basis,” I’d probably earn myself a lot of spankings.

Here’s coyote boy and Demi at the 7th Annual Chrysalis Butterfly Ball. And honestly, the 7th Annual Chrysalis Butterfly Ball is also the time or place to show up messy and hungover and looking like the morning-after prom. Act your age, lady. And comb your fucking hair and pull up your dress, while you’re at it.