Joel Madden announced on his band’s website over the weekend that he and girlfriend Nicole Richie are expecting again:

What’s better than winning an Oscar? I am so happy to tell everyone that Harlow is going to be a big sister! God has truly blessed my family. Hope your all feeling as good as i am right now………

First of all, no. An Oscar is still better. Second of all, I thought these two weren’t allowed to breed anymore. Between Nicole Richie’s headband obsession and Joel Madden being a douchebag, these two seem like the worst parents ever. There are no possible life skills they can teach their kids except listen to shitty music, weigh 90lbs throughout most of your adult life and there’s no such thing as too much eyeliner. Their kids would have a better chance at life if you threw them in an active volcano.

Officials granted Nicole Richie a leave of absence from her court-mandated anti-drinking classes. According to Nicole’s rep, she received the pass not because of preferential treatment, but because they were worried about her safety.

“They offer that option to anyone with a medical condition of any kind,” the rep says. “She is not receiving special treatment.”

Richie, 26, who is eight months pregnant, must complete the 18-month program as part of her plea deal in her second DUI conviction. She was sentenced in July to four days in jail, fined $2,048, and required to sign up for the program.

As part of the program, participants are required to attend 52 hours of counseling, twice weekly personal interviews, and 12 hours of alcohol education… which I guess involves learning how to properly shake a martini or something.

Nicole Richie shows off her growing baby bump on the beach!

It was also nice of Joel Madden to keep his shirt on when going into the water. He’s thinking of us and I thank him for that.

Here’s Joel and Nicole relaxing in Hawaii from their stressful lives!