Whenever Lindsay Lohan calls the casting directors at True Blood, they probably cackle until the connection goes out. So Lohan has been forced to audition on Twitter. Yes, it’s come to this. Lohan, who has already admitted that she’s a major True Blood fanwhore, posted these pictures of her as a vampire on her Twitter. Nice try, bitch. If the show was called True Cokeywhore, then she’d get the starring role, but unfortunately it’s not.

Here’s Lindsay Lohan flashing some saggy sideboob while walking down the street in a pair of leggings and a nice loose top that can barely contain those big things. And to think this is how Lindsay Lohan looks in her early 20s. Imagine what she’ll actually look like in her 40s. Actually, don’t imagine that. It’s too gross.

Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears were seen out together at the Grand Star Jazz Club in Los Angeles Sunday evening. So much for sobriety and sanity! Adding Lindsay Lohan to Britney Spears is basically like adding whatever it is that you add to baking soda to make one of those volcanos when you were a kid. What? Science wasn’t my strong suite, OKAY?