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I blame it on Demi Moore. That goddamn Vanity Fair photo shoot she did back in 1991 basically achieved the same result that we’d get if we turned off our spam filters - essentially, leaving the door wide fucking open for any riffraff to just come strolling on in to ruin it for everyone.

And as if Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears weren’t bad enough, now there’s this. I don’t know who convinced Tori Spelling it’d be a good idea to pose for bikini pics while eight months pregnant but, congratulations, I hate you.

Thomas Beatie is a transgender male and he’s 22 weeks pregnant. Thomas still has a vagina, but he’s legally male. He shares his life with his legal wife, Nancy. Thomas gave a first person account to the Advocate on how he came to be pregnant with a baby girl.

Thomas writes:

“Ten years ago, when Nancy and I became a couple, the idea of us having a child was more dream than plan. I always wanted to have children. However, due to severe endometriosis 20 years ago, Nancy had to undergo a hysterectomy and is unable to carry a child. But after the success of our custom screen-printing business and a move from Hawaii to the Pacific Northwest two years ago, the timing finally seemed right. I stopped taking my bimonthly testosterone injections. It had been roughly eight years since I had my last menstrual cycle, so this wasn’t a decision that I took lightly. My body regulated itself after about four months, and I didn’t have to take any exogenous estrogen, progesterone, or fertility drugs to aid my pregnancy.”

One year and many doctors later, Thomas got pregnant with triplets, but the pregnancy was ectopic. He eventually lost his embryos and his right fallopian tube. His second pregnancy has been a success and he’s due on July 3, 2008.

He said that not many people in their community know about his pregnancy. He said they have:

“begun experiencing opposition from people who are upset by our situation. Doctors have discriminated against us, turning us away due to their religious beliefs. Health care professionals have refused to call me by a male pronoun or recognize Nancy as my wife. Receptionists have laughed at us. Friends and family have been unsupportive; most of Nancy’s family doesn’t even know I’m transgender.”

This is pretty awesome and I wish them well! They want a family and they are doing whatever it takes to get one. You can’t blame them for that. Whatever works! He also makes a pretty hot pregnant dude.

I wish I could get knocked up. That would be the best. I could get as fat as I wanted, fart whenever, sleep all day, bitch at everyone and proudly eat strange shit like fries in ice cream. Ok, I do all that shit now, but at least I would have a good reason!

She’s probably not but there’s a rumor gaining some traction that The Hills star Lauren Conrad is pregnant. Yesterday the blog “Crazy Days and Nights” (run by an entertainment lawyer) posted the following blind item:

This Hills and/or Laguna Beach star is pregnant. Now if we could just figure out the daddy.

Now check out this video shot yesterday. In case you didn’t catch it, at the 17 second mark one of the photogs asks Lauren “How’s the baby?” Which is kind of a question to ask a pregnant chick. How’s the baby? Ummmm, alive? I don’t know, it’s inside my body you retard.