Italian comedy show La Iene thought it’d be a good idea to verify whether or not David Beckham’s package was enhanced for his Armani ads. Elena Di Cioccio of the show decided to do this by grabbing David’s junk with rubber gloves while he was being interviewed. Guess how that went. She wasn’t even smooth about it because you could see her coming a mile away. Beckham’s people rushed him away while security held back Elena. Somehow the 100 lb woman escaped their grasps and made one last attempt to talk to David. Security there is great.

I think Elena got off easy. Whenever I try to verify the assets of celebrities like Kate Beckinsale, I’m tased, handcuffed and kicked in the ribs. Why? It’s not like they’re real people!

Anyway, if you want to check out the video, fast forward to 1:50 because the first 2 minutes are pretty much just close-ups of David Beckham’s cock.

David Beckham unveiled images for the new Emporio Armani fall/winter underwear campaign at Selfridges in London today. I know I’m the only ho looking at his face (I already scanned the peen area), but where are his eyes?! Face without eyes! Did Posh get so hungry that she ate his eyeballs?! Possible!

Nice to see men are being re-touched into something not even remotely human looking as well.

David Beckham took his new Rolls Royce Drophead for a spin yesterday in Beverly Hills. According to Yahoo! Autos, the 2008 Rolls Royce Drophead Coupe retails for $407,000. But check this out – it only gets 11 miles to the gallon. If gas keeps going up, Beckham’s gonna be kicking himself for making such a foolish purchase. Idiot.