Even though they’re supposed to be broken up, Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green were spotted getting coffee together this morning. Shortly after this pic was taken, a group of golden unicorns ran by the couple and then flew off into the sky. A bystander commented, “HOLY FUCKING SHIT . . . did you see that dork with Megan Fox?!”

Despite the pleas of men the world over, Megan Fox is still planning on marrying 90210 douche Brian Austin Green. Brian told People Magazine at GQ’s Woman of the Year bash on Tuesday:

“[The ceremony will be] small. We might have a few people there. Don’t expect a lot of press hoopla surrounding [the] big day… You might hear about it the week after.”

Brian Austin Green better have a donkey-sized penis, because that’s about the only thing that could make this union credible. Either a giant wiener, or maybe sole possession of a ring forged in the fires of Mount Doom by the Elven smiths of Eregion. It’s the only way this makes any goddamn sense.

After months of speculation, Megan Fox has announced that she’s ended her engagement with former “90210″ star Brian Austin Green.

Sources claim the pretty brunette, 22, sent business associates correspondence last week alerting them to the sad news. An insider says, “Megan still cares about Brian, but she now realizes she’s too young to marry him.”

Or maybe she just realized that she’s Megan Fox and he’s Brian Austin fucking Green. This is perfect! It’ll free up Brian to make a cameo in the new 90210 where he belongs, and Megan will be free to date hotter, more relevant guys.