Is she trying to kiss him or deepthroat his face? Not sexy at all. The way I see it, there are only two reasonable excuses why anyone should kiss like this. Either if you saw a glob of spaghetti sauce on your partner’s chin and wanted to clean it off … Or, if you’re a golden retriever. Period. Sure, “Hey everyone, look at me, I’m such a disgusting whore” is technically an excuse, but I did specify “reasonable.”

Here’s Paris Hilton going swimming at the pool of the hotel she’s staying in for Cannes. What a shame. They’re going to have to drain and disinfect that entire pool now. At least when somebody finds a poop or something in there they can probably just use the skimmer to get it out, but there’s still no way to skim out “whore.”

In case you weren’t aware, even Paris Hilton has a twitter page now. She uses it mostly to post photos of herself, naturally, because there just aren’t enough pictures of Paris Hilton on the Internet these days. At any rate, here’s the latest round of photos of her in a brunette wig.

Me in Disguise Today. Blondes have fun! But Brunettes are hot too! xoxo
about 13 hours ago from TwitPic

I hate to break it to her, but it’s going to take a lot more than a brown wig to disguise Paris Hilton. Even through the computer I can smell the whore stench. Maybe if she tried rolling around with a skunk or something? That might help cover it up. Yeah, that’s the ticket.