According to the paps, this is Jennifer Aniston wearing some kind of KKK/grim reaper hood while leaving her hotel in NYC today. Who knows why Jenny decided to cause a mass amount of attention to herself by trying to look like she’s hiding her face from the cameras? Her $60,000 hairstylist wasn’t able to pass a blow dryer through her mop? Or it could be something simple like homegirl just has a herp sore on her mouth. Wait. She reportedly broke up with her man because he is on twitter too much …

I swear, Jennifer Aniston must be the most annoying, grating chick on earth or her vagina has teeth, because guessed who just got dumped again? Surprise! E! reports:

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer may have called it quits. That’s the rumor I’m hearing. A source says that the pair’s on-again, off-again relationship may have ended when Aniston returned from overseas, where she was promoting Marley & Me. She returned sometime within the last week. “He broke up with her when she got back from her European tour,” the source said. Aniston’s rep did not immediately comment. Mayer’s rep declined to comment on the singer’s personal life.

God. By now, Jennifer Aniston’s eggs must look like that sandwich you left in the fridge six months ago. You probably need an ice pick to tear them apart because they’ve all crusted together. Her biological clock must be ticking so loudly that she mistakes it for her morning alarm.

Having the hair of an Afghan Hound isn’t cheap. The Daily Mail says that during a recent press tour for that dead dog movie in Europe, Jennifer Aniston paid a total of $56,000 to keep her mop looking like this.

McMillan accompanied the 40-year-old on a first-class flight from Los Angeles to London at an estimated cost of over $20,000 each before being treated to a seven-day all expenses paid stay in several top hotels for around $14,000 and a second flight to Paris costing $5,600.

In addition, his daily fee is said to cost another $2,000 per day, pushing up his paycheck up by another $14,000.

Seriously, if it takes that much coin to make her hair look like that, bitch is being overcharged. And in this economy!

She can do that mess herself in one hot second. All she has to do is wake up, have her usual morning cry, wipe her lonely tears off with her hair and VOILA! There you fucking go.