Courtney Love was in crazy full-effect in Malibu, and even caught a ride in a shopping cart. Her fella pushed her along as she grabbed at her paw, cigarette in hand. I’m not really sure what Courtney was doing in Malibu over the weekend, but I guess she decided to take her crazy-lady-in-ballet-slippers title back from Amy Winehouse, or she was trying to scare the crap out of the old, rich white people. “Ahhh, a homeless person, ruuuuun!!!”

Supermodel and excellent ass kicker, Naomi Campbell, was officially charged for allegedly beating and spitting at cops during an incident at Heathrow in April. Naomi was thrown off of a flight, because… well… because she’s a bitch. Cops were called and that’s when shit went down.

Naomi was charged with five offenses – three counts of assaulting a constable, one of disorderly conduct likely to cause harassment, alarm or distress and one of using threatening or abusive words or behavior to cabin crew. Basically, she was charged for being a crazy ass bitch.

Her lawyer told reporters outside the police station:

“Miss Campbell is bitterly disappointed that the prosecutors have advised her she is to be prosecuted for various offences. She respects that decision and she hopes this matter is dealt with expeditiously.”

Translation: Naomi is going to kill prosecutors using her bare teeth only.

Naomi is due in court on June 20th.

These are the only Naomi Campbell pictures we ever post. And they’re with Naomi naked ( NSFW, of course):

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=2c5QO9y-P3c[/youtube]

Paula Abdul confusing us and herself when she let the Vicodin tea get the best of her while judging Jason Castro. Paula judged Jason for two songs even though he sang just one. Paula tried to explain to ET what the hell happened.

Paula said:

“It got very confusing … the producers come up to us in the dark and said, ‘We are not going to have you guys judge after each performer, we are going to have all the performers go once, then twice and at the end critique them. “

Paula said this surprised her, so she quickly tried to write notes for all performances. When Ryan called on her to judge Jason, she got confused.

“I was trying to give my critique for Jason Castro, and scribbled Jason’s name, and that was DAVID [COOK]’s! … We all just screwed up everything. This is live television. This is fun!”

Oh Paula! Just take another sip from your Coca-Cola cup, sit in the corner and count all the little elves you see scurrying around in front of you. I’m sure that will keep you busy for a few hours.

Thank the fuck for Paula Abdul! She was the only source of real entertainment on last night’s show! I even forgot what the hell any of them sang. The only thing I remember is Fetus Archuleta belting out “America.” He’s no Kristy Lee Cook and I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing.

Basically, the toddler and David Cook are safe. Those two saps are going to battle it out in the finals. Please, this has been planned for weeks. So…here’s my bottom 2:

Brooke White: It’s this snatch’s time. I can’t stand to look at her “secretary trying to be fashionable” outfits anymore. I also find myself making her “woe is me” grimace whenever she comes onstage. I can already predict how she’s going to ruin a song before she starts singing. She sits at the piano and does her absolute worse Tori Amos impersonation. Bitch is going home tonight and I’ll toast to that!

Syesha Mercado: It’s either Jason or this Broadway fag. The stoners will keep Jason alive for a couple more weeks. He’s final 3.

Honestly, they should just eliminate all of those hags and declare Paula Abdul the winner of American Idol. She’s one of the only reasons for watching this shit anymore.