Pamela Anderson has been looking truly tired lately. The fact that she puts on makeup with a makeup gun doesn’t help either. Not even fairy tales could capture the horror of Pamela Anderson’s face. That’s all changed, sort of.

Here’s Pamela Anderson grocery shopping in Malibu yesterday with what looks like a noticeable baby bump. Frankly, I’m surprised she has a functioning uterus.

Pamela Anderson showed up at fashion photographer David LaChapelle’s ‘Jesus Is My Homeboy’ art exhibition over the weekend with the dewy complexion of a recently-unearthed potato and enough makeup to repaint the Sistine Chapel. Oh, and did I mention she wasn’t wearing any pants? According to the Daily Mail:

The former Baywatch star caused a stir when she arrived at one of the most important art exhibitions in the U.S., Art Basel Miami Beach, wearing a pair of orange and black patterned underpants.

Anderson at least covered the top half of her modesty, with a grey off-the-shoulder t-shirt. Anderson enjoyed playing up to the cameras as she seductively bent over paintings, with her bottom and pink high heels in the air.

That just goes to show you that what you see in cartoons don’t always translate to real life. Sure, the whole “no pants” thing works for Donald Duck and Squidward, but experience has taught me that it doesn’t fly in the work place or while loitering outside the schoolyard. You also might want to pass on “swapping cigars with TNT” and “dressing up as a sexy girl rabbit to fool your captors.” Believe me, there are just some things from which the human mouth never recovers.