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Lily Allen was out getting wasted in London last night with a bunch of bitches, when some French ho tried to kill her buzz by calling her a bunch of names. Lily and her friends left a club and were trying to find their car when the French ho called her a “fucking asshole.” Lily, being the lady that she is, responded with, “Yeah, come and say that to my face you fucking cunt!” Nice use of the “cunt word.” 10 points for Lily! The Daily Mail says:

Lily reacted after being heckled as she left Ronnie Scott’s Jazz Club at 2am. With a short reach, the punch appeared to fail to connect. The singer’s friends managed to restrain Lily, persuading her to get into a car. Lily’s target appeared to laugh off the attack, looking more bemused than terrified.

I always imagined getting hit by drunken chubby girl fists would feel like being pummeled by two giant marshmallows. Two sweaty, out-of-breath marshmallows that smell like donuts and shame. Frankly, I’ve seen better right hooks crocheting a sweater. Lily Allen ain’t got nothin’ on my grandma.

Here’s a few more of Lily making a fool of herself by trying to punch the French hyena. The Sun also has video of the incident. Oh and some of these pictures have a little nipple action in them.

How can you not love Lily Allen? She purposely pulled down her shirt to expose her nipple. I guess she’s starving for attention. I miss the pink hair, but now I can see her tits. I consider this an acceptable substitution.

The Cannes Film Festival begins this week, and Lily Allen is there for some reason. I think this chick is awesome even though she’s 40 pounds overweight and I hate her stupid blond hair. Her nipples and her hair don’t match. At all!