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According to the National Enquirer, Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant again. Her friends are supposedly “begging her” to get an abortion . . . by jumping off a bridge . . . OK, maybe they didn’t say that thing about the bridge, but it seems like a great way to solve her problems. A source told the magazine:

“Jamie Lynn is about eight weeks pregnant, and she and her mom Lynne are hysterical. Neither of them knows what to do, but for now they’re trying to keep the news from getting out. Jamie Lynn believed she couldn’t get pregnant while she was breast-feeding. She’d expected to have her period by early September. A home pregnancy test came back positive and Jamie Lynn cried her eyes out.”

Oh sure, laugh all you want now, but in six or so years, Jamie Lynn’s gonna be the one laughing when she has two different kids to go coon huntin’ for supper. What you call poor planning, I call planning for the future.

Jamie Lynn Spears is reportedly undergoing a C-section today due to pregnancy complications. The National Enquirer says

The 17 year-old’s ultrasound last week [indicated] her baby may be in breech position. Britney and her father Jamie left Los Angeles Wednesday morning on a commercial flight to join Jamie Lynn.

Casey and Jamie Lynn are reportedly having a girl. They are planning to name her a combination of both their names, Cailynn or Cassie. Boring. I’m a little disappointed to hear that JL is going to give birth in a hospital. I was secretly hoping she would go into labor in the middle of Piggly Wiggly. That would be poetic.

It’s got a hangar and a shed and a fishin’ hole and everything! It’s even got a great porch perfect for Jamie Lynn to sit back in her rocking chair and reflect on where everything went wrong in her life. For a knocked up, unwed 17 year old its actually a very nice place to live! Oh, and according to my calculations, it’s only 5 miles away from Wal-Mart. That’s right Jamie Lynn, dreams do come true!