It’s got a hangar and a shed and a fishin’ hole and everything! It’s even got a great porch perfect for Jamie Lynn to sit back in her rocking chair and reflect on where everything went wrong in her life. For a knocked up, unwed 17 year old its actually a very nice place to live! Oh, and according to my calculations, it’s only 5 miles away from Wal-Mart. That’s right Jamie Lynn, dreams do come true!

Soon-to-be 17 year old Jamie Lynn Spears headed to her local Toys R Us this week to register for her baby shower. The actress sported an engagement ring on her finger for the trip, and wore a t-shirt which read, “The Rumors Are True.”

Spears drove 80 miles to Baton Rouge from her home at the Serenity mansion in Kentwood, La., was reportedly accompanied by her cousin, and, “somebody called ahead to say they were coming in,” a source told People.

Casey Aldridge, 18, the baby’s father, is listed as her “co-registrant” and the “event date” listed is July 10. Spears added the message: “Thank you for supporting us during this special time.”

The Zoey 101 star’s choices ranged from a $1.49 teething ring to a $300 car seat. Other requests include an ultrasound frame, a Cookie Monster bath towel and a Baby Neptune Ocean Gym. Spears was careful not to select any pink or blue items, instead opting for sage-green terry cloth changing-pad covers and receiving blankets decorated with Disney characters such as Winnie the Pooh and Tigger.

The one thing she really needs is not even on her registry….A CLUE. I’m joking. She will make a wonderful mother. I couldn’t even type that without laughing. Terrible.

This screenshot of Casey Aldridge’s MySpace page paints a bleak future for his baby that resides in the womb of Jamie Lynn Spears. His last login date was Tuesday and his status reads “Me and Jamie are over…” This indicates that both Jamie and Casey aren’t as serious as they’ve been portrayed in the media, Casey actually isn’t a stand-up guy or he might not even be the baby’s father at all. Jamie was quoted in late November saying she’s not in a relationship and hangs out with a bunch of guy friends who, accidentally, have a bunch of penises. Also, she shares the same lineage as Britney Spears, so chances are the father is a retarded rodeo clown. Spears women dig the academic type.