Here’s model/actress/Maxim’s Sexiest Swimsuit Model in the World Joanna Krupa posing for the December issue of Playboy and breaking the annoying streak of quasi-celebs refusing to go nude FOR PLAYBOY.

Coco wants you to see things through her eyes … And by things I mean breasts. She wants you to see her breasts.

According to the Daily Mail, Rihanna suffered a “limo nightmare” last night after accidentally flashing her cellulite to the paparazzi as she was leaving Mahiki nightclub in London. For a woman who wears hot little outfits and has a tight body, she sure knows how to make herself unattractive. Her thighs are hardly a nightmare. They’re more like a disgustingly bad dream that haunts you to your core. This header picture is one of the worst shots I’ve ever seen of her, she looked better in the police photos after she beat up Chris Brown’s fists with her face. I’m suddenly not feeling well… this is too much for one day.

Damn, I’ve never seen Mariah so drunk and Nick so happy. Someone that night didn’t have to ask permission to have sex!

According to Jon Gosselin’s former nanny, Stephanie Santoro, Jon’s bodyguard Tom Meinelt told her that Jon has a sex tape and he’s seen it.

“Tom told me that Jon was secretly videotaped having sex with a woman in Los Angeles in October, and he’s seen the tape! Tom said people close to Jon put a camera in his hotel room, and paid a girl to flirt with Jon and have sex with him. He also told me that he saw Jon snort cocaine on more than one occasion, and that the more Jon got into partying, the more cocaine he used!”

The fact that a Jon Gosselin sex tape exists, somewhere, is more terrifying to me than terrorists, the swine flu, and the fact that eventually the sun will eventually supernova, expand and swallow our plant whole. Then again, the whole sun swallowing us up thing wouldn’t be so bad if the Jon Gosselin sex tape was destroyed along with the Earth. Hmm … I wonder if there’s any way of speeding that process up. Let’s get on it, science.

Lindsay Lohan had an epic meltdown recently at the Crown Bar in Los Angeles when she was expected to pay her bill. And of course she didn’t have any money, since her only job is showing up at places looking cracked out, which actually doesn’t pay as much as you’d expect.

“Lindsay stormed into the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of really expensive champagne. She finished both bottles with a friend. When the bartender gave her a bill, she had a meltdown,” says the source. “She was yelling at him and screaming profanities at everyone. The bar insisted she pay, so she had to call a friend with her credit-card information.”

Before the actress left the club around 2:30 a.m., the onlooker says, “She was crying and wanted to go home. She kept saying ‘I don’t pay for drinks! This is ridiculous! I’m freaking out!’”

Lindsay probably just figured that her delightful appearance was payment enough. Or maybe the vomit she left in one of the ladies room stalls. Eh? How many Los Angeles clubs can boast authentic Lindsay Lohan vomit on the premises? Oh, right. All of them. I guess they were fair in charging her.

Former supermodel Cindy Crawford went to the cops after a creepy German model named Kayalar tried to extort $100,000 from her in exchange for pictures he had of Cindy’s 7-year-old daughter Kaia “in revealing clothing, bound to a chair and gagged.”

The photograph is said to be stolen from Crawford’s former nanny who had been dating Kayalar. The nanny claims it was taken during a game of cops and robbers.

Kayalar said he saw the picture once at her apartment, an FBI affidavit says. The nanny told him it was Crawford’s daughter and boasted, “Do you know how much this picture is worth?”

According to Kayalar, he took the photograph along with a hand-written note that said, “The babysitter went crazy & tied everyone up& they need your help! Please.” (It’s the note she would have used as part of the prank).

Initially, Kayalar claimed he was broke and asked for a reward for returning the photo. Naturally, Cindy told the cops and the they picked up Kayalar and sent him to immigration who threw him out of the country. It didn’t stop there though, Kayalar is now trying to blackmail Crawford again by threatening to sell the pictures to tabloids if $100,000 isn’t wired to his German bank account. No money has been wired and the FBI is still searching for him.

Wait. Let’s go back to the cops and robbers thing. Shouldn’t the cops be more concerned with the nanny? The description makes it sound like Kaia was bound and gagged in sexy lingerie. I mean, I’ve never played cops and robbers before, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how it goes. Unless it is. In which case, any sexy ladies want to play a game?

Taylor Lautner can’t turn 18 fast enough for some ladies. The Twilight star recently revealed he’s been the target of some wholly inappropriate behavior from mature fans.

“I’ve had women in their 40s come up to me and ask if I can sign their underwear! The weirdest thing is that their daughters are with them…The moms are crazier than the daughters, going: ‘Taylor, I’m wearing your Team Taylor panties, can you sign ‘em?’ And the daughter’s in the background, going: ‘Urrghh, Mom!’”

Is it even legal to ask an underage guy to sign your underwear? Can you imagine if some old dude rolled up on Miley Cyrus and asked her to autograph his Hannah Montana underpants?

Well, it’s kinda official: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are indeed a couple!

Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke has definitely-maybe confirmed their relationship in an interview with Time magazine. She says:

“After I cast him, I told Rob, ‘Don’t even think about having a romance with her. She’s under 18. You will be arrested.’”

When pressed about the status of their alleged love affair, Hardwick adds:

“I didn’t have a camera in the hotel room. I cannot say. But in terms of what Kristen told me directly, it didn’t happen on the first movie. Nothing crossed the line while on the first film. I think it took a long time for Kristen to realize, ‘O.K., I’ve got to give this a go and really try to be with this person.’”

Wow! We bet K-Stew is furious about this revelation and wants to tell Catherine to “Fuck Off!”

Too bad the Twilight franchise already did!

I wasn’t exactly sure who the hell this Christian Serratos chick was or why I should give a shit that she’s naked for Peta until my twelve year old niece told me she was from the Twilight movies. Amazingly enough I still don’t know who she is and still don’t give a shit why she’s naked… I’m just glad she is.