Rihanna and her ridiculous hair are making the publicity rounds to open up about how Chris Brown attacked her last February, even giving a weepy interview to Diane Sawyer later this week. Because, of course she fucking is. Glamour also got in on a piece of the action:

It has taught me so much. I felt like I went to sleep as Rihanna and woke up as Britney Spears. That was the level of media chaos that happened the next day. It was like, What, there are helicopters circling my house? There are 100 people in my cul-de-sac? What do you mean, I can’t go back home?

You know who probably feels really good about that statement? Britney Spears. Yeah, I know what she was getting at, but still. Sure, Britney may have married a gold-digging loser, dated a skeevy paparazzi, lost her kids and went crazycakes for awhile – but she sure as hell didn’t let no man put his hands on her. Not that any man would be dumb enough to try, mind you. That’s why God invented hornet’s nests and sticks.

Kidman talked to GQ, and teased that her experiences of love ranged from “mundane” marriage to “strange sexual fetish” stuff.

‘I’ve explored obsession. I’ve explored loss and love in terms of being in a grief-stricken place, I’ve explored strange sexual fetish stuff, I’ve explored the mundane aspect of marriage, and monogamy,’ she said.

But while she confessed she had previously experienced the ‘mundane’ side of relationships, she described her present marriage as ‘raw’ and ‘dangerous’.

‘You work on it,’ she said. ‘It’s a very extraordinary, adventurous place to be: incredibly raw, incredibly dangerous and you’re very much out at sea. You’re exposed. You could drown.

Naturally, Kidman doesn’t expound upon these strange fetishes because that’d make her far too interesting. But considering she was married to Tom Cruise for 10 years, it probably involves Keith Urban not wanting to be sodomized by a 10-inch dildo during sex. That guy is such a freak.

Natalie Portman brings back the 80s in the new issue of V Magazine, where the actress talks about why she didn’t like her performance in Star Wars, her favorite dirty word, and why the internet is bullshit.

On Star Wars: “My acting was not exactly respected in those films [laughs] but those are the moments when you want to prove yourself again. When people think I suck, it helps.”

Her Favorite Dirty Word: “To be successful, you need the desire to be successful. Ambition can be a dirty word, but it’s pretty much more important than anything.”

On how the internet affects her roles: “[O]nline bulls— interferes with what I want to do artistically. I’m not opposed to sexuality or nudity in a film, but I’m very opposed to pornography sites and you’re pretty much giving them material if you do any of that.”

Harvey Price, is in the hospital with a possible case of swine flu. This is serious business because Harvey doesn’t do too well when he’s got the ills. Harvey is partially blind and suffers from severe autism. Katie Price’s rep said that he’s doing “very poorly.”

Katie was off pimping her book out, but she immediately rushed to be with Harvey, as did Peter Andre. Katie’s rep also said:

“Katie is very frantic. You would assess a normal child at home, but in Harvey’s case as soon as he gets ill he has to go to hospital. Katie is preparing to take time off work until Harvey is well.”

Most of the papers/tabloids are saying that Harvey being in the hospital is bringing Katie and Peter back together, but who really gives a shit about them! If I see a pig today, I swear I’m going to kick it for doing this to Harvey.

I’ve been staring at these pictures from the past 20 minutes trying to figure out if that’s really Lady GaGa in the face. The singer and style icon wore this unusual get-up as she arrived at the ACE Style Awards. She was in attendance as she was nominated for being fashion weird ass of the year.

She actually won an award for her contribution to style this year. Just so you know, the committee who chose the winner included a blind warthog, Chucky doll, and Karl Lagerfeld’s ponytail.

I know that Halloween brings out some weird shit, but these pictures of Rihanna with Ice T’s big assed woman CoCo are just odd. Their willingness to stand around and make everyone go “W-T-F is an inspiration to us all.

Great news for those of you who have always fantasized about dipping Heidi Klum in chocolate: her new coffee table book Rankin’s Heidilicious hit the shelves last week. Rankin’s Heidilicious by photographer Rankin shows a bunch of pictures of Heidi Klum being sexy. The description says it answers the question, “What’s Heidi really like?” I guess people ask that a lot. It’s the book you always wanted but didn’t know you always wanted. Buy it now or, you know, just look at most of the pictures here.

There are reports this morning that Mel Gibson’s mistress Oksana Grigorieva has given birth to his bastard child. Mazel Tov! Maybe they’ll call her “Sugartits.” Radar Online says

It’s official – Mel Gibson is an Octo-Dad!

Mel’s fiancé Oksana Grigorieva has given birth to their baby. And pass out the cigars because it’s a healthy baby girl.

Congrats to the 53-year-old on those wailing newborn nights ahead of him!

The Daily Mail reports that Elton John was hospitalized over the weekend with a bad case of E. coli bacterial infection and the flu. ACK! We must all refrain from making ten million raw chicken jokes.

Because Elton has the ills, he’s been forced to cancel a bunch of concerts in the UK and the United States. Hopefully, Elton will be back on stage in two weeks.

Elton’s partner David Furnish said he was out of the hospital and doing well. Elton’s rep issued this statement:

“He is recovering from a case of serious influenza with minor complications. We are confident he will be back on stage in the near future.”

Those of you who wanted to send flowers should send a balloon basket instead, because I’m sure a dozen floral shops have already moved into Elton’s house. Git well soon, Elton!

The list of famous people having their places of residence burglarized continues to grow. On Saturday, thieves broke into Kourtney Kardashian’s Calabasas home and made off with $108,000 in jewelry. Police say their crime lab is working on it.

This is very, very shocking and scary news, people. Kourtney Kardashian had $108,000 in jewelry? How? From walking around looking pregnant? Doubtful.