Tara Reid checked into rehab over the weekend. From the Associated Press:

A publicist says Tara Reid has checked herself into rehab. Jack Ketsoyan said Friday that the “American Pie” star went to the Promises Treatment Center. He did not specify what she was being treated for or when she entered the facility.

“We appreciate your respect to her and her family’s privacy at this time,” he said in a statement.

Since Tara’s publicist wouldn’t reveal why she checked into rehab, the only right thing to do in this oh-so-private of a situation is throw out wild guesses. I bet it’s crossword puzzles. Oh, they can be so addictive!

Oh dear God no. Tara Reid wants to start procreating with her boyfriend Julien Jarmoune. From the San Francisco Chronicle:

Actress Tara Reid is desperate to start a family, hinting that she is trying for kids with current boyfriend Julien Jarmoune. The pair began dating after setting up Reid’s new clothing line together. And she doesn’t want to wait to settle down and start a family, telling People magazine, “I’m ready to make a family. I want two children, a boy and a girl. And a traditional wedding, the big dress, the princess thing. What every little girl dreams of.”

Whoa, whoa. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here, Tara. You should wait and see what the CDC has to say about this first. Maybe think it through a little as well. Pregnancy is no joke. Especially when your baby is sitting in your diseased womb, arms folded, grumpy, constantly kicking your vagina and yelling, “This is bullshit!”

Tara Reid is hurt by all the nasty comments everyone made last week during her vacation in Miami (bikini pics and nasty comments here). She told People:

“I’ve been a media target for years now. It does hurt my feelings, but what can I do? I have to move on.”

Yet moving on has been difficult, especially because Reid has to live with the evidence of the past – the scars on her stomach from a 2004 liposuction surgery and subsequent reconstructive surgery in 2006. “They are my battle wounds,” she says of her “uneven” abs.

Tara, do you really want the websites to stop mocking you? It’s called a one-piece, stupid. You don’t have a body good enough to wear a bikini. Look, it’s not your fault, but you have to understand that Father Time is whipping your ass right now.