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Rumer Willis used to have pictures of stepdad Ashton Kutcher on her wall. Awk-ward. She told Cosmo (UK):

“It was strange when mom started seeing Ashton in 2003. I was 15 and he was a real heartthrob - I had pictures of him on my wall! I remember mom saying her new ‘friend’ was going to hang out with us. I said, ‘What’s his name?’ And she goes, ‘Ashton.’ And I said, ‘Whoa - Ashton Kutcher?’ I freaked out a bit and blushed. When he came round, though, it wasn’t awkward. I realized I’d never seen my mother happier. It was like watching two 16-year-olds going to the prom!” (Source)

Weird. One minute her index finger is named Ashton Kutcher, and the next her father is. This story’s actually got me thinking. What would I do if Megan Fox suddenly became my stepmom? Besides the obvious “drill a hole in the bathroom wall” and “riffle through her underwear drawer on a daily basis,” I’d probably earn myself a lot of spankings.

I’m sorry, Rumer, but after seeing these pics, I have to recant all my previous comments about you not being as fugly as everyone says. Because you are.

Here’s Rumer Egghead Willis trying so hard to be a hot girl. More like shit girl. There I said it, because you were thinking it. The bag would look a lot better if it was over her head. Now I have to follow that up by saying something nice. I like her sunglasses! I like them, because they cover up her face.

This is my WTF moment for today. The hotness that is Orlando Bloom is apparently bored with his Victoria Secret model. Or maybe the model doesn’t appreciate a man who can pull off a blonde wig and tights. He is now rumored to be dating Rumer Egghead Willis. The Female First say:

“The 31-year-old actor was seen canoodling with 19-year-old Rumer - the eldest daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore - at Prince’s ‘purple’ Oscars party on Sunday. A source said: “The chemistry between them was electric. They were all over each other and didn’t seem to care who saw them.”

I find it hard to believe that there is much interest between the two. Then again, maybe my prayers have been answered and Orlando is a straight up slut and won’t kick a slightly unattractive woman out of bed.