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The Wii Fit Hula Hoop girl has gotten almost 2 million views in just two weeks, and now the identity of the famous girl with the hot ass can be revealed: Lauren Bernat of Miami, Florida.

Man, am I the only one waiting for Wii Casual Sex?

Model Cora Skinner hit the beach in Hawaii yesterday with boyfriend Brody Jenner of The Hils. I’m pretty sure it’s a crime against nature for a chick this hot to date a bag this douchey. Cora’s added “looks incredibly hot in a white bikini” to her list of talents.

Rose McGowan showing her dog how it’s done, ladies and gentlemen.

SICKENING: Paris Hilton signing Xerox copies of herself in a bikini for South African orphans. There are so many things wrong with this, I don’t even know where to begin… Paris Hilton is in South Africa and she was asked what she thought of the place. She answered, “I love Africa in general — South Africa and West Africa, they are both great countries.”

I expect nothing less from this brainless slag! My only surprise is that she actually knows what continent she’s on.

I really hope someone decapitates her while she’s there… oh wait, that won’t involve enough pain.

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Tay Zonday, the baritone crooner of the insanely catchy but awful all the same, “Chocolate Rain,” took home one of 12 awards at the second annual YouTube Video Awards, beating out a video featuring a jam sessions with a carrot flute and a squash drum.

Among the other 11 winners, Chris Crocker – insane, semi-psychotic Britney Spears fan – was soundly defeated in the commentary category by Michael Buckley, offering a glimpse of what Crocker will have to endure the rest of his life (sound beatings, that is). The Obama Girl also lost out (boo!) in the political category to a video by the global organization avaaz.org, “Stop the Clash of Civilizations.” Other notable winners included “Battle of Kruger” in the eyewitness category, and “How to Solve a Rubik’s Cube” in the instructional category.

Visit YouTube to see all the winners in all categories.

The media is trying to drag Winona Ryder’s good name through the mud by once again accusing her of stealing; this time from a Hollywood CVS.

A store employee is quoted as saying: “Winona had a bag of stuff, but she set off the theft alarm when she left the store. “When a security guard stopped her, he found make-up she had not paid for.”

And when she was asked about the make-up, Winona answered: “I don’t know how that happened.” The store employee added: “We took unpaid items back and she left the store.”

OK fine. So maybe she took some shit. But still, I’d hardly call that stealing. As far as I’m concerned, appropriating make-up from chain drug stores is every red-blooded woman’s right as an American. I know when I was 14; Lip Smackers didn’t pay for themselves. So what, I guess I’m a “criminal” now too?

PICS: Winona Ryder arriving to the Valentino Winter Show in Paris (2/28)

Robbie Williams is planning on ditching his pop music career, and becoming a ufologist. I’m not sure that ufologist is actually a job title, and I suspect that Robbie wasn’t being entirely serious. Particularly since he made the statement while appearing on a radio show, to promote his pop career.

He said, “Seriously, I want to go out and investigate these things. I’m stopping being a pop star and becoming a full-time ufologist. We could be like Mulder and Scully (The X Files FBI agents) in real life. You’re always mega-busy but I’ve got nothing on at the minute.”

Williams also claims he has been visited by aliens on at least three occasions, and witnessed a “big strip of black light” during recording in a studio in Los Angeles.

However, the 34-year-old insists he can understand if the public views his latest obsession with concern.

He added, “People will think, ‘This geezer’s been in rehab, he’s off his head.’ How mental are they going to make me out in the papers.”

Yes, I can see how some people might make a connection between drug and alcohol abuse and U.F.O. sightings. I’m not sure if I’m a believer, but I am pretty sure things you see when drunk are usually not Unidentified Flying Objects. Oh shit! He’s Tommy Cruise’s next wife!

Robbie makes no mention of being anal probed. Thank goodness.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Earlier yesterday Brandon Davis junkie brother Jason Davis pretended to be “waiting for a car” at the Ivy. Davis was actually lingering to chat with the paparazzi, who are suddenly interested in him because the LA District Attorney just charged him with felony possession of a controlled substance (heroin) and misdemeanor driving under the influence.

When asked if he had anything to say to his fans, Davis replies, “Um, I have fans?” Sort of endearing, eh?

Later Gummi Bear (btw, has he lost weight?) tries to convince the paparazzi how much of a hard worker he is. “I wake up everyday at 8. I get to the office. I don’t leave the office except for a lunch break. And, I work my ass off,” he says.

A-ha!

“I just loved him more than anything. He couldn’t wait to meet Spencer [Pratt]. He was very much a brother to me. He called me his sister, not his step sister. He was always like, ‘I love you! I have to meet Spencer and make sure he’s cool to you!’ Just like a brother.”

If I had a stepbrother who died, I would make sure to mention my fake TV show boyfriend at least twice in my statement to the media just like Montag did! Way to shame us Coloradoans, you insecure self-absorbed fake & hard-breasted nincompoop.

Paris Hilton pretended to look deeply spiritual by being photographed with a “monk” at the Urth Cafe over the weekend. A turn out the monk is an actor named Maxie Sullivan. Oh, Paris, you brilliant moron you. TMZ reports:

He’s starred in tons of films and TV shows including “My Name is Earl” and “Pirates of the Caribbean.” According to IMDB, Maxie’s latest projects are all in “post production” so clearly he has enough free time to whore it up for Paris.

I don’t think this comes as a surprise to anyone considering Paris is about as spiritual as my left testicle. Seriously why people are upset about this? Are you people retard enough to believe it was a Guru in the first place?