If Prince Harry (aka Hot Ginge) kneeled before me like he’s doing in the photo above, my genitals would probably hold up a white flag and surrender.

It’s stories like these that bring a smile to my face, a sparkle to my eye, and warmth to my cold, dead heart. From the Daily Mail:

London club Whisky Mist had a royal flush of VIPs last night, including princes William and Harry, princesses Beatrice and Eugenie – and US pop-culture royalty Paris Hilton and Christina Aguilera . . . Paris was delighted when she turned up around 2am to discover the two young princes were also in the VIP area. Harry was sitting with two male friends at a table, and Paris headed over in a bid to get his attention. But Harry was having none of it. He tried to ignore her, concentrating on his pals instead, but the hotel heiress is nothing if not persistent.

An onlooker said: “It was quite funny to watch. Harry clearly didn’t want to speak to her but she did a sexy dance in front of him and he finally stood up to shake her hand. He then just wandered off, and Paris looked a bit annoyed.

Well, no shit. I mean, theoretically, Harry and William have their veritable pick from any number of inbred Princesses across the continent of Europe. And you know how that old British saying goes: an heiress with extra fingers on her hand is better than one with crabs in the bush. I think Henry the Eighth said that.

More of Sadness Vagina arriving in London:

After breaking up in October for a small period of time, Prince Harry reunited with girlfriend Chelsy Davy. Harry and the South African student patched things up after Chelsy apparently decided to forgive Harry for his hard-partying ways.

And truly, can you blame Harry for wanting to get back with this hot piece of classy ass? Photographers snapped Chelsy smoking and scratching her ass on the balcony of her family’s $2 million vacation home in Durban, South Africa–a vacation area known for it’s magnificent beaches and sun-bathing-friendly weather.