Last night Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and beard Pete Wentz have welcomed their new baby boy, Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Says E! Online about the birth:

The baby boy weighed in at 7 pounds, 11 ounces and measured 20½ inches.

“Proud new parents Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz welcomed new son, Bronx Mowgli Wentz, late this evening,” a rep for the new mom told E! News. “Ashlee, Pete and baby Bronx are all healthy and happy, and thank everyone for their well wishes!”
The birth comes almost three weeks after the 29-year-old Fall Out Boy mastermind told Ryan Seacrest that his 24-year-old missus was “very pregnant…She’s at the very end, and it could happen at any point.”
As for the tot’s name, Wentz told Seacrest they were not looking to go down in the annals of punchline-ready celebrity monikers.

“I want to meet the baby first. My friend said it—you’ve gotta have a baby with a name that could be a rock star or a senator, so he’ll get work either way.”

BRONX MOWGLI WENTZ? First of all, his initials are BMW! Trust me. That wasn’t a coincidence. They just want free shit. Second of all, his short initials are BM. Third of all, the name Mowgli is already taken by that boy from “The Jungle Book”! This kid would literally be better of being raised by a bear from the jungle than old Emo Closet Gay and Spoiled Immature Princess Asshole…

Okay, I know it’s Pete Wentz, so of course he’s dressed like an assclown, but seriously… what the hell is going on with those pants? Are they made from the fabric remnants of train-conductor overalls? I cannot comprehend the force of the ugly that is happening in his southern hemisphere. On the plus side: it sure helps distract from the rest of the ugly. Maybe it’s all part of his master plan? Except, oh wait that’s right, HE’S AN IDIOT.

Hold on to your hats, cause this shit is a total surprise: Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz confirmed on the website Friends Or Enemies that they are expecting a little baby. The shotgun wedding wasn’t confirmation enough?

These two dumb whores wrote:

“While many have speculated about this, we wanted to wait until after the first trimester to officially confirm that we are expecting our first child. This is truly the most joyous time in our lives and we are excited to share the happy news and start our family.”

Looks like we might have a new contestant in the fugliest baby of the year contest! I refuse to believe that these two idiots actually do sex. Pete only sticks the tip in, gets nervous, pulls out and then starts giggling like a school girl. I don’t even think Pete can produce semen!

Pete Wentz walked around yesterday wearing a paper plate on his face which read: “Your ad could be here… Email: Jon@douchebag.com.” Ahh, now I see how they managed to make a baby… This stupid bitch needs to write that on his little kid sized dick. Remind me again why this idiot is famous?

According to Entertainment Tonight, Ashlee Simpson will wed Pete Wentz on Saturday, May 17 at a private residence in the Los Angeles area. The wedding will be held in tents in front of 120 friends and family.

Ashlee and Pete have yet to comment on the wedding date, or if they are in fact knocked up, as everyone assumes.

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz just announced their engagement. Try not to roll your eyes too much or they’ll stay that way forever. Asshole posted this message on the Friends or Enemies website:

“We know there has been a lot of speculation recently about Pete and I and we wanted our fans to be the first to know, because you guys are the best. Yes, we are thrilled to share that we are happily engaged. Thank you for all of your support and well wishes – it means the world to us. We consider this to be a very private matter, and we wanted to be the first to tell you and to hear it straight from us.”- Ashlee and Pete

Papa Joe confirmed to People and said he’s “totally happy” and “so excited to have Pete as part of (our) family.” You know that man is crying inside

While Jessica Simpson was taking care of a kidney infection, her sister Ashlee Simpson was living it up with boyfriend Pete Wentz at last night’s OK! Magazine, Crush Management & Hilfiger Denim’s “Viva La Karaoke” in New York City.

Wentz’s ugly fake tie shirt irritates me even though I own one myself. I remember seeing the shirt at Plato’s Closet a couple of years ago and thinking to myself, “Hm. I should probably get this.” So I did. It was a bad move, but at least I don’t wear it in public!