It’s been awhile since Pete Doherty was last seen in public. Well, well, what do you know, Pete was spotted trolling through a Spittafield market in Liverpool Street, East London over the weekend looking like a homeless person. Maybe you should down a full bottle of Penicillin before going in. Just to be safe.

Pete Doherty used some of his crackie crash to buy a Kate Moss painting as well as a Winehouse painting last night in London. Metro claims Doherty paid $10,000 for the paintings. That’s a falsity! $10,000 in Monopoly money, maybe! Doherty himself isn’t even worth $10,000! You can probably buy Doherty for a half-used Bic lighter and a little heroin residue.

Pete said the painting were for his “art collection” at home…

Those paintings are hilariously hideous. I’ll forgive Petey though, since he’s my second favorite crackhead in the whole world. And really, a crackhead should have crackhead “art”.

Ladies and gentlemen you are witnessing the birth of a new lethal and toxic super disease. You should feel grateful that you are watching history in the making. Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty kissed their goodbyes last night after Pete’s first concert since he was released from prison a week ago. And it was every bit as sexy as that sounds. Thank God they only exchanged saliva. Please congratulate the happy couple by punching them in the stomach and face repeatedly next time you see them. And as always wear your protection before you touch them.

A exhibition of Pete Doherty’s bloody paintings launched in Paris yesterday – with the notable absence of the so-called artist himself.

The controversial exhibition contains 30 paintings by Doherty, using his own blood as well as the more traditional art instruments of pencils and paintbrushes.

One painting is a tribute to Kate Moss, but it looks more like Jackie Stallone after a botched facelift. Pete Doherty has also signed his name in blood on several painting using his used needles.

The exhibition runs until May 11th. Doherty won’t be able to make it since he’s sort of busy making grilled cheese sandwiches on the radiator in the chokey. However, I need one of Pete’s painting! Just touching one of his paintings will give me syphilis, but it’s worth it. I can say with confidence, that if [when] he dies, someone with more money than brains will pay a small fortune for this collection!

Pete Doherty just posted a YouTube clip of himself smoking something from a rooster-shaped pipe. I’m sure it was just tobacco.

Pete Doherty arrived at Amy Winehouse’s East London home at 4:45 this morning. He left at 10:45am. Amy was seen moving stuff from her car where a photographer caught a mysterious bag of white powder. Oh that?! Oh they’re just being neighborly…you know…borrowing a bag of booger sugar.

Sounds like they are a couple of “morning people” as they must be committed to an early rising lifestyle to have visitors arrive at 4:45 in the morning. Maybe they were just getting together for some early morning aerobics.

The new sober Pete Doherty is adapting to life in the country and sobriety – as he swaps his bad old habit for a legal high.

Accompanied by model girlfriend Irina Lazareanu, Pete looked terrified as the couple enjoyed a fast and furious fairground ride. They look like twins. Creepy.

He has exchanged his wildly destructive drug lifestyle for a calmer existence but the reformed drug addict admitted he’s “not sure about complete abstinence”.

Funny there are similar pics of him and Kate at an amusement pack…last year I think.

They are probably posing for Kate’s benefit, like “are you jealous yet, Kate?” or “Look what I’ve got Kate, look, younger, brunette, stupid!!!”

After finally breaking it off with Kate Moss, he’s recently given an engagement ring to model Irina Lazareanu. The two have known each other for years — Irina used to be the drummer for Pete’s band Babyshambles until, ironically, Kate introduced her into modeling. I guess, as they say, a couple that plays together, stays together…

Also, don’t forget Irina modeled with Kate in the debut of her Kate Moss for Topshop collection. Scandalicous!

Pete is only doing this, because Kate Moss is apparently “engaged” to Jamie Hince. I see the games they are playing. They will end up together in the end! Trust this bitch.

Pete Doherty’s pet cat has been found to have traces of cocaine in its blood stream after being taken in for observation by vets, say reports.

The Babyshambles star owns a cat named Dinger, a jargon word for syringe, which recently gave birth to a litter of five kittens.

One of the litters became ill and the singer was forced to take the kitten into the vet for tests, where the drug revelation was discovered.

An RSPCA spokesman told the Daily Star: “It is a police matter, so we cannot deny or confirm the identity of the man who had this kitten removed. But it is very important to protect animals from substances that can do them serious harm.”

All the great lovers in history are reunited sooner or later whether it be in heaven, hell or at the Claridge’s hotel in London. That’s where sources say Kate Moss and Pete Doherty have been spending the past 5 nights together. One of those night’s securities had to be called, because a party in their room was getting too loud. Kate has been leaving the hotel in the dead of night, so that paps won’t be able to get a shot of her.

Her family is said to be devastated that she’s back with him. A source said, “When she got back to Britain, they met up at the hotel. He cried and she cried. She said to him she had been avoiding him because she had promised everyone from her managers to her mother that she would.”

Pete reportedly told Kate that a newspaper interview where he called her an “old rag” was spun and that he didn’t say some of those things.

It was bound to happen sooner or later. Kate’s family shouldn’t worry. They’ll be broken up by teatime, but then back together by dinner and then broken up again by cocktail hour and then back together again for brunch….

That picture above is the best! It’s Pete Doherty in handcuffs before escaping jail yesterday with the courts. I know the officer probably wear gloves with everyone, but he probably triple bagged it for Doherty.