It’s been awhile since Pete Doherty was last seen in public. Well, well, what do you know, Pete was spotted trolling through a Spittafield market in Liverpool Street, East London over the weekend looking like a homeless person. Maybe you should down a full bottle of Penicillin before going in. Just to be safe.

Pete Doherty used some of his crackie crash to buy a Kate Moss painting as well as a Winehouse painting last night in London. Metro claims Doherty paid $10,000 for the paintings. That’s a falsity! $10,000 in Monopoly money, maybe! Doherty himself isn’t even worth $10,000! You can probably buy Doherty for a half-used Bic lighter and a little heroin residue.

Pete said the painting were for his “art collection” at home…

Those paintings are hilariously hideous. I’ll forgive Petey though, since he’s my second favorite crackhead in the whole world. And really, a crackhead should have crackhead “art”.

Ladies and gentlemen you are witnessing the birth of a new lethal and toxic super disease. You should feel grateful that you are watching history in the making. Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty kissed their goodbyes last night after Pete’s first concert since he was released from prison a week ago. And it was every bit as sexy as that sounds. Thank God they only exchanged saliva. Please congratulate the happy couple by punching them in the stomach and face repeatedly next time you see them. And as always wear your protection before you touch them.