Mariah Carey went on Oprah last week to hawk her new crappy album, and of course she dragged along her little kiss-ass husband Nick Cannon on the stage so they could prove their love to the masses before his back gave out. The Daily Mail says

They shared an exaggerated smooch as Nick bent her over, before an uncomfortable looking Mariah stopped him, saying: ‘Don’t drop me!’

That picture reminds me of this joke I once heard: How fat is Mariah Carey? Mariah Carey’s so fat, she fell in love — and it broke. Ha ha!

A blogger is claiming that Oprah Winfrey pirated some of his poetry and used it in her internet-published work “Pieces of My Soul,” and now he wants recompense — to the tune of one TRILLION dollars! The National Enquirer says:

In an intellectual property case filed July 31 with the US District Court in Washington, D.C. author Damon Lloyd Goffe of the Bronx, New York is suing the talk show titan and her production company Harpo, Inc for damages he claims to be worth $1 trillion.

In the legal papers, Goffe says that “in April 2008 Oprah confessed to seizing original works of authorship” and published on the internet the first draft of his work ” A Tome of Poetry” under another title “Pieces of My Soul.”

The suit also alleges Oprah sold over 650 million editions of the work online
for $20 a copy which “calculates for 1.2 trillion dollars.”

$1 Trillion Dollars Goffe?! Really?! Best of luck on this one buddy . . . you’re gonna need it.

Oprah has once again topped Forbes magazine’s list of the biggest celebrity cocks aka The Celebrity 100 list. We already know that Oprah’s the most powerful and richest living thing on earth. I’m pretty sure that part of the taxes I pay go directly to Oprah. It’s the country’s way of thanking her for being so fucking awesome.

Here’s the Top 10 with what they reportedly made last year.

1. Oprah – $275 million
2. Tiger Woods – $115 million
3. Angelina Jolie – $14 million
4. Beyonce – $80 million
5. David Beckham – $50 million
6. Johnny Depp – $72 million
7. Jay-Z – $82 million
8. The Police – $115 million
9. J.K. Rowling – $300 million
10. Brad Pitt – $20 million

Visit Forbes to see the rest of the list.