Here’s Penelope Cruz’s hot sister Monica in a bikini in Ibiza. It’s almost like a piece of fine art. “I especially like the artist’s use of muted blues and greens to help create the tone of the picture. It’s an interesting dichotomy between the awesome power of water and the calming power of color. Also, I really really really like her hot ass.”

Here’s Monica Cruz at some shindig called the ONDE 2000 Team Presentation, which was held in Madrid, Spain. By now we’re all aware that Penelope Cruz’s younger sister is a total knockout, but the more I see of Monica, the more I think she’s the hotter of the two… Let me know what you guys think, but I’m totally digging Monica a little more at the moment.

That’s nasty! I’m sorry, but where I come from incest belongs in unwanted dreams. We’ve all had dreams where we’re doing something we shouldn’t be doing with a family member — they’re called nightmares. I haven’t had one of those in several years (thank God!), but I do remember waking up wanting to kill someone in my family after they appeared in a couple of my disgusting nightmares. It wasn’t their fault (it sure wasn’t mine though!), but seeing them the next day just made me want to bust a cap in their ass.

Penelope Cruz isn’t at all like me. She and her sister Monica play sexy translators in their brother Eduardo’s new music video. The two sisters get so hot watching lesbian porn that they simply cannot resist each other! Eduardo is hoping the incest will launch his career in pop music.

Penelope didn’t use incest to give her career a boost; she just became a beard for Tom Cruise and Matthew McConaughey. This led me to believe she is a lesbian, but I always assumed she was gay for Salma Hayek. Turns out, it was her sister all along! Whatever the case may be, it’s got me thinking… Did anybody ever become famous by using his or her talent — and talent alone?