Mel Gibson appeared on Chicago’s WGN-TV early this morning to promote his new film Edge of Darkness, and when entertainment reporter Dean Richards had the nerve to ask him if “public perceives [him] any differently after all that’s been in the news,” Sugartits decided to go all “Payback” on his ass.

“That’s almost four years ago, dude,” Gibson snaps after an uncomfortable silence. “I’ve done all the necessary mea culpas. Let’s move on.”

Nervous, Richards then wraps up the interview. But before Gibson’s satellite feed goes off, the star quips, “bye bye,” muttering “a**hole” under his breath.

I love how at one point in the interview before the asshole remark, he says “You know, I think I’m the same person I always was,” as if he were literally foreshadowing the end of this very interview. I also love how Mel Gibson thinks he can abuse the crap out of some podunk Chicago reporter because he still doesn’t understand the concept of “YouTube” and “the internet.” I bet he still send email forwards with WMV files in them too. Ha ha, old people.

There are reports this morning that Mel Gibson’s mistress Oksana Grigorieva has given birth to his bastard child. Mazel Tov! Maybe they’ll call her “Sugartits.” Radar Online says

It’s official – Mel Gibson is an Octo-Dad!

Mel’s fiancé Oksana Grigorieva has given birth to their baby. And pass out the cigars because it’s a healthy baby girl.

Congrats to the 53-year-old on those wailing newborn nights ahead of him!

When I first saw these pictures of Mel Gibson running around with a beaver hand puppet on his hand, I just figured there was possibly a logical explanation, like that the liquor store was having a buy one get one free sale on Jim Beam. But it turns out it was in fact for a movie. I mean, really? Mel Gibson in a movie? What is it, the year 1997?

Mel Gibson’s new piece, Oksana Grigorieva, may already be pregnant with his lovechild. Sources tell TMZ that Mel already told his ex, Robyn, and his kids that Oksana is in her second trimester.

Hasn’t anyone in Hollywood ever heard of contraception? It’s like condoms and birth control doesn’t exist there or do girls actually believe the line, “Don’t worry, you won’t get pregnant. I’m an actor.” Because, I’m no scientist, but I don’t actually think that’s true. Is it?

Now it’s time to play the game: What’s Mel Gibson supposed to be! Is Mel Gibson supposed to be Don Quixote? Sir Didymus? Lord Satan? A scotty dog? Time’s up! Colonel Sanders phoned in from heaven and is requesting his face pubes back! Great, now I want KFC.

Britney Spears and Mel Gibson took a little trip this morning to Costa Rica. Together. Britney Spears and Mel Gibson. On vacation together.

Entertainment Tonight says:

We spotted them leaving on a private plane to the Central American state early this morning. Sources tell us that Mel is taking Britney and her father JAMIE for a mini-vacation. We’ve learned they will be guests at Mel’s home in Costa Rica. According to the terms of her custody Britney’s children cannot leave the country without special approval. There is no confirmation as to whether she sought approval and we’re told they are not joining her on the trip. While the pop star and the actor may appear to be an unlikely duo, they used to live in the same Malibu community and were spotted having dinner together at Studio City’s Romanov restaurant in March.

There’s no way this bitch is coming back. Once she sees those taco carts on every corner, she’ll wonder why the hell she wasted the past 10 years of her life in Beverly Hills. I’ll miss her.