Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon’s top-secret wedding as professionally photographed and stealthily placed on the cover of the super confidential People magazine.

Now 99% less a publicity stunt!

Though news of their relationship was only revealed this week, Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey may already be married. And the bitch didn’t even get a prenup. According to the New York Post, the couple was secretly married at Carey’s new home in the Bahamas. A source close to Carey revealed to the paper:

“They have been smitten with each other for days, weeks. And she’s always had a crush on him. Everyone is happy to see her happy. And it could work out – some people know each other for five years and get divorced, maybe this is true instant love.”

Not everyone is so over-the-moon.

“There was no pre-nup – there wasn’t time,” said another worried source.

Why wouldn’t she marry a 27-year-old dude without a prenup? I mean, now I know Mariah really is a crazy bitch. I’m suprised Nick Cannon is allowed to keep his SAG card. His movies are pure, unfiltered, knee-high shit. Nick Cannon makes Will Smith look like Marlon Brando.

Mariah looked ravishing in purple at last night’s Save The Music event in NYC. She’s looking like Barney’s second mistress!

The word “brainpower” and Mariah’s image should not be in the same neighbourhood. It just doesn’t make any sense!