Evidenced by these pictures, Lisa Rinna was in the original Melrose Place and would very much like to be in the remake. A remake that has cast Ashlee Simpson and Katie Cassidy as the main characters, but has already lost Heather Locklear due to her not being convinced writers could justify her character.

Anyway, this is pathetic. Lisa might as well have changed the wording on the sign to read, “My dignity, have you seen it?” and danced in front of an empty hat where passersby could donate their unwanted change.

Lisa Rinna has finally admitted to herself that in her quest to make her lips look like a giant labia, she might have gone overboard with the lip filler Juvederm. She tells In Touch Weekly:

“We all know everyone does it! We go on Jenny Craig and do all these things to change ourselves, so why can’t we get a little filler?”

But while a little is one thing, Lisa admits she recently overdid it. “I saw a picture of myself and thought, ‘Uh-oh,’” admits Lisa. “You have to be careful. I’m a perfect example of that!”

What she SHOULD have said is “Oh, God, NOOOOOOOO!” before smashing every mirror in the house and using the broken pieces to hack away at her sausage lips in front of her terrified children and housekeeper. You gotta make it mean something, Lisa. Otherwise, people will never understand the dangers of Juvederm addiction.

Here are some pics of Mrs. Big Lips Lisa Rinna out and about wearing a little dress that shows off her fake funbags. You know, for a woman who looks like a genetic freak, I get somewhat turned on by this broad. I know I shouldn’t and everything in my brain tells me not to, but unfortunately it has no control over my body. Yes, I’m sick.