Okay, take this with a grain of salt. According to Australia’s New Weekly, Aniston is pregnant with John Mayer’s baby. Jen has reunited with John last week because she’s pregnant with his child, sources tell the magazine.

The pair made their first outings as a reunited couple last week, enjoying a romantic weekend in New York and a concert in Boston. But while friends are scratching their heads about what made Jen take the playboy musician back, the smile the actress has been wearing says it all — she’s pregnant and loving it!

Wait. Are they speculating she’s pregnant based off of her smile? I know Jenn’s life is depressing and she has very little to be pleased about, but come on. That’s like me saying that cute girl at Starbucks wants to sleep with me because she always tells me to have a nice day. Even though she does. You can’t base a wild rumor off of a happy disposition. You base it off of anonymous sources or in my case, the fact that you’re given correct change every time you buy a latte.

It looks like the rumors about Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer reuniting are true. The two flew into L.A. together on Monday and then were seen making out at the airport. An insider told the National Enquirer:

“They were very lovey-dovey. They kissed several times and hugged each other tightly. John gave her a long, lingering kiss.”

Once in L.A. they went their separate ways but judging by the kissing, insiders say there’s more to this than just a friendly plane ride together.

Long and lingering? Okay, I would say more, but I can’t even articulate an appropriate response here that doesn’t involve smacking Jennifer Aniston on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Since she started doing fuckey times with John Mayer, 39 year-old Jennifer Aniston has dropped nearly $20,000 a month on beauty treatments to maintain her looks. Don’t laugh! The Enquirer says:

“Her monthly regimen includes private instruction with a top yoga guru and personal training sessions. Jen pays a private chef for organic, high-protein, low-fat meals [and] goes for anti-cellulite sculpting treatments twice a month. She calls the treatments ‘necessary tune-ups.”

But all those tune-ups might not be doing the trick. Just two days before Jen flew to Amsterdam to meet Mayer, the singer was busy cheesing up some chick in a Dutch coffeehouse. According to In Touch:

On June 20, John approached a writer from Manhattan Beach and sat beside her at her table. “I think he thought I was from Amsterdam, because he said, ‘I am John and I am a singer.’ I asked him what his relationship status was. He said, ‘It’s vague.’ I asked him what that meant and he said, ‘You know, it’s very vague.’ What she did say is that John was acting very much like a single man. “I never would have guessed he had a girlfriend at all. ”

Anti-cellulite spa sculpting treatments: $1,000. Thrice-weekly yoga session with top Hollywood guru: $3,000. Organic high-protein meals flown in by your personal chef: $3,500. Finding out your boyfriend cheated on you with some slut in fourteen dollars’ worth of Wet ‘n’ Wild from Walgreens: priceless. There are somethings that money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s actual self-esteem.

Here’s some pictures of Jenny walking to her SUV in Los Angeles and John walking to his SUV in NYC. Thrilling.