The best thing about Jennifer Aniston is that she’s always trying to look her best to show Brad Pitt what he’s missing. This charade has been going on for years, and I don’t think I’ll be sick of it any time soon.

Here’s Gerard Butler helps Jennifer Aniston check to make sure her labia is still there (it goes for long walks by itself sometimes.)

Brad Pitt reportedly arranged a clandestine meeting with ex-wife Jennifer Aniston during his trip to New York late last month. The Daily Mail says:

The pair, who ended their five-year marriage in 2005, met up at a hotel in the city for an hour where Brad told Aniston about his relationship problems with Angelina Jolie.

It comes amid reports that Brad and Jennifer are in regular phone contact and – if true – their latest encounter marks their second private meeting together in the Big Apple this year.

A source [said] that Jennifer agreed to visit Brad in his suite at the Essex House hotel the day after he attended a political conference with former U.S. president Bill Clinton in New York.

If you opened up a “Secret Meeting Motel,” you would make serious coin just from Brad Pitt alone! Dude is always off having these secret meetings with Jennifer Aniston. We’ve all got news for you, Brad! Your secret meetings ain’t so fucking secret, because we’re all reading about them. Anyways . . .   does Jen get to wear a trench coat and hide behind potted plants in the hotel lobby? Because that sounds kind of hot.

While on set of her new movie with Gerard Butler, The Bounty, Jennifer Aniston was caught crying in her trailer. And you’ll never guess why!! I was so shocked!!! New York Post reports:

The unlucky-in-love actress was late coming out of her trailer while filming “The Bounty” with Gerard Butler a few weeks ago. The source tells Page Six that when an assistant went to fetch Aniston, she was in tears, and said, “I need a moment. This scene reminds me of Brad and me.” Aniston pulled herself together and managed to put on a smile when she eventually emerged from her trailer. The insider added, “While she enjoyed flirting with Gerard on set and put a brave face on every day, privately she is still very fragile.”

Thanks insider! Aniston probably sees Brad’s face in potato chips and cries.

Despite being friends with Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox and David Arquette spent Sunday night hanging out with Brad Pitt after running into him at a concert. Page Six reports:

Cox was at the Wiltern Theater in LA with husband David Arquette for the final stop on rocker Chris Cornell’s Scream album tour when Pitt showed up. Our backstage spy told us, “Instead of ignoring him, Courteney chatted away with Brad all night. The three were in great spirits and seemed really happy to see each other.”

Before everyone goes jumping to conclusions, did it ever occur to anyone that maybe she was helping Jennifer Aniston? It’s called “recon,” dumbasses. Let’s see, did she suspiciously, say, aim her purse at his face the whole time or mayhap lean a pin on her lapel in his direction every time he spoke? They say the best gift a friend can give a friend is a little ex-husband undercover work. I’m pretty sure I learned that by watching “Friends.”

According to the paps, this is Jennifer Aniston wearing some kind of KKK/grim reaper hood while leaving her hotel in NYC today. Who knows why Jenny decided to cause a mass amount of attention to herself by trying to look like she’s hiding her face from the cameras? Her $60,000 hairstylist wasn’t able to pass a blow dryer through her mop? Or it could be something simple like homegirl just has a herp sore on her mouth. Wait. She reportedly broke up with her man because he is on twitter too much …

I swear, Jennifer Aniston must be the most annoying, grating chick on earth or her vagina has teeth, because guessed who just got dumped again? Surprise! E! reports:

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer may have called it quits. That’s the rumor I’m hearing. A source says that the pair’s on-again, off-again relationship may have ended when Aniston returned from overseas, where she was promoting Marley & Me. She returned sometime within the last week. “He broke up with her when she got back from her European tour,” the source said. Aniston’s rep did not immediately comment. Mayer’s rep declined to comment on the singer’s personal life.

God. By now, Jennifer Aniston’s eggs must look like that sandwich you left in the fridge six months ago. You probably need an ice pick to tear them apart because they’ve all crusted together. Her biological clock must be ticking so loudly that she mistakes it for her morning alarm.

Having the hair of an Afghan Hound isn’t cheap. The Daily Mail says that during a recent press tour for that dead dog movie in Europe, Jennifer Aniston paid a total of $56,000 to keep her mop looking like this.

McMillan accompanied the 40-year-old on a first-class flight from Los Angeles to London at an estimated cost of over $20,000 each before being treated to a seven-day all expenses paid stay in several top hotels for around $14,000 and a second flight to Paris costing $5,600.

In addition, his daily fee is said to cost another $2,000 per day, pushing up his paycheck up by another $14,000.

Seriously, if it takes that much coin to make her hair look like that, bitch is being overcharged. And in this economy!

She can do that mess herself in one hot second. All she has to do is wake up, have her usual morning cry, wipe her lonely tears off with her hair and VOILA! There you fucking go.

Scientists from around the world will be taking a break from finding the cure for cancer and other stuff, so that they can devote all their time to studying the clip from last night’s Oscars of Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie’s showdown! Okay, maybe scientists won’t be studying this mess, but you know every entertainment show and celebrity will bring in “body language” experts to dissect this from top to bottom.

Jennifer Aniston presented Best Cartoon Movie with Jack Black and the camera panned to Angelina twice. Jolie came prepared, because she had her game face on. Her fake ass smile said “awwwww,” but her eyes said, “Fail, bitch. Fail!” Aniston was up there like a lamb brought to slaughter. She should have hot boxed in the parking lot, because bitch was like Octomom without her IVF fix.

And it’s not in the clip above, but when Aniston opened the envelope, she murdered that thing. I almost thought she was going to throw it on the ground and start stomping on it while screaming, “You are so uncool! Uncool you are!” You know whose smug mug Jennifer was picturing on that envelope.

Last night, Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie finally met. Kind of, sort of. Aniston presented Best Animated Feature with Jack Black while in Jolie and Brad Pitt’s direct line of sight. Gasp! Tension you could cut it with a knife.

When Black made a joke about how all Pixar films win Oscars, Aniston said, “I apologize Mr. Katzenberg [Jeffrey Katzenberg is the co-founder of Dreamworks], I don’t know why we let him out of the house.”

The camera then panned to Jolie, who laughed.

When Aniston announced the nominees, she moved to the center of the stage, right in front of Jolie and Pitt. When the lights were down, Aniston smiled directly at Pitt, but not at Jolie.

Aniston then presented Best Short Film; both Pitt and Jolie kept huge smiles on their faces the entire time.

As Aniston walked off stage, Jolie and Pitt both clapped.

See now? That wasn’t so hard now, was it? Imagine how much easier the media would have gone on them if they would have just been friendly to each other before this. And there’s nothing wrong with staying friendly with your exes. It’s supposed to be really healthy, even. I say this objectively speaking of course, because I would literally set my boyfriend’s ex on fire before I let her come near us.

Here are a few more pictures from Jennifer Aniston’s nude GQ magazine photoshoot because, well, it’s Jennifer Aniston naked. Ya, ya, I know she isn’t naked naked, but technically she is and the photos leave very little to the imagination.