I really doubt this is true, but Star Magazine reports Jamie Lynn Spears had liposuction when she was pregnant. After she finished filming Zoey 101, she started getting fat and not knowing it was due to being pregnant, Jamie asked her mom to let her get lipo.

Her mom approved of the injections and “went through tons of red tape to get the clinic to adminster them to an underage patient.” A Dr. Gary Burton says any form of liposuction is dangerous to the fetus. Jamie now fears that this procedure has caused long-term harm to her baby.

Early-pregnancy liposuction still can’t be as serious a risk to a baby as “being born a Spears.” That’s practically a fate worse than death. I could put a baby in a hay baler with nothing but a box of raisins and some matches and it’d still have a better chance at turning out normal than little Maddie. It just might end up square and smelling of alfalfa and horse spit.

According to the National Enquirer, Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant again. Her friends are supposedly “begging her” to get an abortion . . . by jumping off a bridge . . . OK, maybe they didn’t say that thing about the bridge, but it seems like a great way to solve her problems. A source told the magazine:

“Jamie Lynn is about eight weeks pregnant, and she and her mom Lynne are hysterical. Neither of them knows what to do, but for now they’re trying to keep the news from getting out. Jamie Lynn believed she couldn’t get pregnant while she was breast-feeding. She’d expected to have her period by early September. A home pregnancy test came back positive and Jamie Lynn cried her eyes out.”

Oh sure, laugh all you want now, but in six or so years, Jamie Lynn’s gonna be the one laughing when she has two different kids to go coon huntin’ for supper. What you call poor planning, I call planning for the future.

Jamie Lynn Spears is reportedly undergoing a C-section today due to pregnancy complications. The National Enquirer says

The 17 year-old’s ultrasound last week [indicated] her baby may be in breech position. Britney and her father Jamie left Los Angeles Wednesday morning on a commercial flight to join Jamie Lynn.

Casey and Jamie Lynn are reportedly having a girl. They are planning to name her a combination of both their names, Cailynn or Cassie. Boring. I’m a little disappointed to hear that JL is going to give birth in a hospital. I was secretly hoping she would go into labor in the middle of Piggly Wiggly. That would be poetic.

It’s got a hangar and a shed and a fishin’ hole and everything! It’s even got a great porch perfect for Jamie Lynn to sit back in her rocking chair and reflect on where everything went wrong in her life. For a knocked up, unwed 17 year old its actually a very nice place to live! Oh, and according to my calculations, it’s only 5 miles away from Wal-Mart. That’s right Jamie Lynn, dreams do come true!

Soon-to-be 17 year old Jamie Lynn Spears headed to her local Toys R Us this week to register for her baby shower. The actress sported an engagement ring on her finger for the trip, and wore a t-shirt which read, “The Rumors Are True.”

Spears drove 80 miles to Baton Rouge from her home at the Serenity mansion in Kentwood, La., was reportedly accompanied by her cousin, and, “somebody called ahead to say they were coming in,” a source told People.

Casey Aldridge, 18, the baby’s father, is listed as her “co-registrant” and the “event date” listed is July 10. Spears added the message: “Thank you for supporting us during this special time.”

The Zoey 101 star’s choices ranged from a $1.49 teething ring to a $300 car seat. Other requests include an ultrasound frame, a Cookie Monster bath towel and a Baby Neptune Ocean Gym. Spears was careful not to select any pink or blue items, instead opting for sage-green terry cloth changing-pad covers and receiving blankets decorated with Disney characters such as Winnie the Pooh and Tigger.

The one thing she really needs is not even on her registry….A CLUE. I’m joking. She will make a wonderful mother. I couldn’t even type that without laughing. Terrible.

This screenshot of Casey Aldridge’s MySpace page paints a bleak future for his baby that resides in the womb of Jamie Lynn Spears. His last login date was Tuesday and his status reads “Me and Jamie are over…” This indicates that both Jamie and Casey aren’t as serious as they’ve been portrayed in the media, Casey actually isn’t a stand-up guy or he might not even be the baby’s father at all. Jamie was quoted in late November saying she’s not in a relationship and hangs out with a bunch of guy friends who, accidentally, have a bunch of penises. Also, she shares the same lineage as Britney Spears, so chances are the father is a retarded rodeo clown. Spears women dig the academic type.

Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant, according to OK! Magazine. The 16-year-old sister of Britney Spears and star of Nickelodeon’s Zoey 101 confirmed she is having the child of her longtime boyfriend Casey Aldridge. Jamie told her mother just before Thanksgiving and Britney is just learning the news today from the tabloids. The Associated Press reports:

Spears is 12 weeks along and initially kept the news to herself when she learned of the pregnancy from an at-home test and subsequent doctor visit, she told the celebrity magazine, which hits stands in New York on Wednesday and the rest of the country by Friday.

Nickelodeon released the following statement:

“We respect Jamie Lynn’s decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation. We know this is a very difficult time for her and her family, and our primary concern right now is for Jamie Lynn’s well being.”

Well, at least Jamie Lynn Spears has some first-hand experience in how not to raise a child thanks to big sister Brit. That being said, the first paparazzi shot I see of Jamie at a Starbucks, I’m calling the fucking A-Team.

Here is Jamie Lynn Spears and her baby daddy, Casey Aldridge (June 2006)

Britney reunited with her family this weekend, so instead of staying home and actually reuniting, Britney called ahead to the paparazzi and made a grand entrance with her little sister Jamie Lynn at a restaurant in Malibu. Well, not before a random woman verbally attacked Britney and Jamie Lynn and helped prove that Britney isn’t the only classy one in the family. TMZ reports:

Britney and Jamie (and an army of photogs) were going to a sushi joint in Malibu when a brave woman came up to them and started shouting, “Nobody wants you in this neighborhood! … you’re making the neighborhood unsafe!” The paps defended Spears by yelling at the woman, but then Jamie-Lynn stepped in and shouted in the woman’s face, “Then move the fuck outta the neighborhood!”

This shit would’ve been better if Jamie Lynn knocked that lady out and was arrested. Unfortunately that crazy broad (not Britney, the other one) isn’t in it, but you can hear her shouting and also hear the paps telling her to “mind her own business.” It is her fucking business when 100 men come swarming around her and shit.

The 16-year-old sister of Britney Spears, little Jamie-Lynn is rumored to be pregnant, according to the National Enquirer. The young starlet and 19-year-old boyfriend have been engaging in sexual intercourse for quite some time, not surprising considering the conditions of her childhood. Personally I don’t believe, probably her period came a bit late and rumors started…A redneck soap opera in the making here folks!

Britney Spears isn’t permitted to spend any alone time with her younger sister Jamie Lynn. Britney and her mother have been working on remedial their relationship, but Lynne says she doesn’t want Jamie Lynn spending any alone time with Britney until she shapes up!

The family took a little vacation to Vegas last week and Britney was trying to take Jamie Lynn out with her and her friends but Lynne said NO WAY.

In the meantime, Lynne has asked the guy who made Britney famous – Larry Rudolph – to help turn Jamie Lynn into a megastar. She says she saw what happened with Britney and will know how to deal with it better this time around… so Britney was the guinea pig I guess!