I don’t even know why this is news but it was in People so I’m running with it. The whore that brought down upstanding New York governor Eliot Spitzer enjoyed a relaxing spa day with her mother over the weekend. All together now: awwwww. A source at the spa told People:

“I know she’s been under a lot of stress so I hope we relaxed her.”

This may be the first time in Ashley’s life she received a facial and wasn’t paid for it afterwards. ZING!

A $1 million offer made to Ashley Alexandra Dupre (a.k.a Spitzer’s Whore) by Girls Gone Wild hit a teensy snafu when it was discovered that Dupre already appeared in one of the videos when she was just 18. Ever the shrewd businessman/piece of fucking shit, founder Joe Francis quickly retracted his offer and now plans to re-release the old footage.

“I met her on spring break at the Girls Gone Wild beach house in April 2003,” Francis tells PEOPLE. “She got into the Jacuzzi. … She threw her arms around me. I never made the connection that this was Ashley. But my cameraman had been in touch with her for a while. I didn’t make the connection until really recently. Then it was like: that’s Ashley!”

Well if it’s any conciliation, Ashley — I hope you at least stole his wallet. And hey, I’m sure there’s other opportunities out there! After millions of parents breathed a sign of relief when realizing that it wasn’t their kid, I’m thinking maybe poster child for pro-choice advocacy? I can see it now: “Ashley Alexandra Dupre: Because You Never Know How the Cookie’s Gonna Crumble.”

Audrina Patridge, from MTV’s “The Hills” is on the news today after some naked pictures of her appeared on the Web. “Surprisingly” these new photoso appeared just in time for the new season premiere of the show.

Although some people are speculating if she’ll stay on the show or not, I think this won’t damage anyone/anything. Marketers are very smart people and know what tricks to use to increase viewers.

What Audrina Patridge says about it?

“I took these photos years ago, when I was just out of high school and beginning to model. I was young and very trusting of others, and I didn’t know to protect myself. It is a lesson learned, for myself, and hopefully for the young girls who look up to me.”

So, let that be a lesson to any of you who are looking to start a modeling career right out of high school. Nude pics aren’t good for anything except drawing attention to yourself and getting cast on a MTV drama. Frankly, that’s all they have to offer — a dead end for sure.

Rumor has it they were pictures for a Playboy audition, but they look more like Hustler. In a couple of the racy pictures she is wearing a very short skirt, but the others show her in water just the way God made her. Audrina comes from a very wealthy family so she didn’t need to pose nude for the money. Apparently, Audrina enjoyed the shoot and was devastated when Playboy showed no interest. You can see more photos of Audrina Patridge below.