Halle Berry is pregnant and apparently, still continuing to forge a meaningful, longterm relationship with a boyfriend who is not you. From where I sit, it’s tough to sympathize too much, because it’s not me, either. One of Halle’s friends, who has a mouth bigger than Paris Hilton’s crotch cave, said that she conceived her first baby through in vitro fertilization and her second through artificial insemination.

The friend went on to yap, “She’s just ecstatic to be pregnant again. She wasn’t sure if she’d have another baby, so she’s very happy!”

Halle’s rep put his hand and refused to comment on this.

I was sorta surprised that these pictures of a topless Halle Berry are from the set of Frankie and Alice. I guess Halle Berry’s career has been stinking ever since she won an Oscar so she has to fall back on showing her titties again. Good move.

Esquire magazine has named Halle Berry the “Sexiest Woman Alive” for 2008. She told the magazine:

Does being the sexiest woman alive imply that I know a thing or two about what’s sexy and, possibly, about sex itself? I’m not sure, but here’s what I do know: I know damned well I’m sexier now than I used to be. Let me make an argument here — not so much for me, or even for my age being sexy, but for what I’ve learned. I’ve picked up a little over the years. Sexy is not about wearing sexy clothes or shaking your booty until you damn near get hip dysplasia; it’s about knowing that sexiness is a state of mind — a comfortable state of being. It’s about loving yourself even in your most unlovable moments. I know a little bit about that.

Well, good for Halle Berry. Good for all the new Hollywood mothers out there in the magical fantasy land of nannies and personal trainers and on-staff chefs and Hydromassage. For the rest of us, becoming a new mom isn’t a exactly a time of sexual rebirth and discovery. In fact, I’m pretty sure the only thing that could make your libido dry up quicker than having a newborn is maybe packing your vagina full of salt and then burying it in lime.

Click here to view the embedded video.

A ridiculous amount of celebs got together to make this “edgy” video encouraging young people to vote. Here’s the YouTube summary:

Leonardo DiCaprio, will i. am, Tobey Maguire, and Forest Whitaker have created public service announcements to encourage American youth to register to vote. The non-partisan PSAs, produced by DiCaprios Appian Way, were created to engage and inspire young people to register and vote and participate in the upcoming election.

And guess what, kids? They use bad words. Holy shit! In fact, Jonah Hill even endorses getting high and playing Halo. Damn, now I’m totally voting! Thanks, sarcastic stars of stage and screen. If it weren’t for the emotionless face of Tobey Maguire, I would’ve sat at home like a fag. U.S.A!

Halle Berry never whored out her baby on the cover of any magazines. Imagine that! A celebrity not making a quick buck off their kid. She also didn’t release any pictures of Nahla Ariela, so this is the first time I’ve really seen her. You know how I feel about babies!!! They give me the shakes, because I know they are soon going to be our world leaders. But Nahla is pretty adorable. Nahla’s father is French model Gabriel Aubry.

Here’s Halle Berry and family and the L.A. Zoo.

Every time she gets a post, her boobs get exponentially bigger. By the time she is due, she will need two wheelbarrows to carry those things. Okay, who’s complaining about these? Ingrates.

Halle Berry made a joke Friday on The Tonight Show that some are calling anti-Semitic. Halle was promoting her new movie “Things We Lost in The Fire” and was using her laptop to show Jay distorted pictures of herself. Sounds like comedy gold to me. What could possibly go wrong? Page Six reports:

According to one audience member, “She introduced the first photo by saying, ‘Here’s where I look like my Jewish cousin!’ – it was a picture of her with a huge, distorted nose. No one laughed, and Jay nervously said, ‘I’m glad you said that and not me.’ When the show aired, they cut out her ‘Jewish’ comment and added a laugh track to the bit.”

A very tearful Halle Berry contacted Page Six to set the record straight:

“I so didn’t mean to offend anybody – and after the show I realized it could be seen as offensive, so I asked Jay to take it out, and he did.What happened was I was backstage before the show and I have three girls who are Jewish who work for me. We were going through pictures to see which ones looked silly, and one of my Jewish friends said [of the big-nose picture], ‘That could be your Jewish cousin!’ And I guess it was fresh in my mind, and it just came out of my mouth. But I didn’t mean to offend anybody. I didn’t. I didn’t mean any harm.

So Halle Berry makes an anti-Semitic joke and whom does she blame? The Jews. I believe it’s time to hire a new publicist. You know, one that isn’t Hitler.

Halle Berry made an appearance on Letterman and she’s absolutely getting that pregnant glow about her. I also couldn’t help but notice her breasts, I mean eyes. Her eyes are so beautiful and plump and round. However, Halle Berry has been promoting the hell out of that “Things We Lost In the Fire” movie and Gabriel Aubry has been missing in action! Where the hell can the hottest sperm donor in the world be be hiding?

Halle told People that she loves every minute of being pregnant. Even the morning sickness! She said, “There is nothing bad about it. The morning sickness and the vomiting and the hot sweats. Nothing’s been bad about it. I’ve loved every second of it!” And what is she craving? “Hot and spicy peppercini!”

Hot sweats? Vomiting? Peppercinis?! That sounds like a normal date for me.

Congratulations Halle! You are a crappy actress, but I am sure you will be a great mom!

There she is… shopping… in a very flowing shirt… and in every single one of the pictures the shopping bag is deliberately placed in front of her. Who carries shopping bags like that if not they are trying to hide a baby?