The best thing about Jennifer Aniston is that she’s always trying to look her best to show Brad Pitt what he’s missing. This charade has been going on for years, and I don’t think I’ll be sick of it any time soon.

Here’s Gerard Butler helps Jennifer Aniston check to make sure her labia is still there (it goes for long walks by itself sometimes.)

Paris Hilton’s secretly dating 300 star Gerard Butler? Sure, why not. From the UK tabloid Daily Star:

Paris Hilton’s vow to stay single after splitting from Benji Madden last month is proving a hard promise to keep. We’re not surprised to hear she’s been getting cosy with acting Scotburger Gerard Butler, 39. So cosy, in fact, she calls him Braveheart. The pair went to elaborate lengths to avoid being pictured together at LA’s Bar Deluxe. However, we’ve heard Paris, 27, is also receiving courtly advances from a hunky billboard model.

She calls him Braveheart… Oh, shit. The dumb twat thinks she’s fucking Mel Gibson, right? I bet she makes Gerry call her Sugar Tits. More like Acid Vag. Actually, I don’t believe she calls him Braveheart. That word is too long and complicated for her.

Once you are actually willing to stick it in Paris’s purgatory hole, it’s time to strap on the chastity belt, lock it and then throw away the key. Seriously, Gerard must be tamed before we find him eating out a warthog or some shit. He is out of control.

Another bit of news has come out of Cannes – besides that I wish I were there of course – this time about Gerard Butler joining a futuristic thriller called GAME.

This sounds a little fucked up. It’s kind of based in the world of video games. Where do we go from here? Well, it seems that it’s not enough to manipulate and control fictional creations on a TV screen, so this future has people controlling other human beings through nano-devices.

Butler plays a worldwide star and top ranked fighter in a game. He tries to recover the human race and bring down the system, all while being watched by millions of viewers.