In an interview in this week’s New Yorker, George Clooney says he hired his driver, a policeman, to track a mysterious caller who left a voicemail at his house, telling him to dump Sarah Larson. Page Six says:

On the voice mail, which Clooney plays to the mag’s Ian Parker in front of Larson for the first time, a calm, middle-age male voice is heard saying: “Dude, your friends asked me to give you a message: Dump the bitch before you’re sorry!” ‘”Before you’re sorry’?” a surprised Larson parrots, before launching into a diatribe about how she’s been raked over the coals in endless gossip over her relationship with Clooney. “They say that I’m a stripper. There’s a ton of stuff about that. I’ve never been a stripper. You know, just because I’m from Las Vegas, I must be a stripper. Because I’m a cocktail server, that means I’m an escort.”

Meanwhile, Larson’s ex-boyfriend, Tommy McKaughan, says Larson is always naked. He tells The Sun:

Sarah’s a total hippy at heart, heavily into all the spiritual, mystic stuff – crystals, tarot cards, healing. “And along with her witch-like charms she’s a brilliant fun girl with NO inhibitions. She loves nothing more than getting NAKED in a forest. “Some of our wildest nights were out in the woods romping in the grass and under canvas.” “Some of my favorite memories are of walking into Sarah’s cramped bedroom and finding her naked, surrounded by candles. “She’d tell me to lie on the bed as she mixed together all manner of oils and then slowly rub them all over me.”

I think the only question at this point is, does George Clooney still have to pay in cash? I hope not, because they seem so close.

What happened to Renee Zellweger’s discolored ass face? They erased it away thanks to the magic of Photoshop. They should have photoshopped her better looking dress. Renee and George Clooney are o’s December issue for “Leatherheads.”

Didn’t they date back in the day? Weird.

By the looks of him, George is aging quickly…I wish he would hurry up and come out…It’s ashamed he has spent so much of his life pretending to be heterosexual…and on that note, Renee looks a lot better with this pre-adolescent boy look.

George Clooney must be straight. Look at the man bag. Wait! Maybe that bag goes with the beard.

I’m not sure how I feel about the man bag. I mean what does Georgie need to carry? He probably have the mobile phone right next to the Tampax.

Georgie, first rule of fashion: your bag should match your shoes! And go with something a little more pretty and delicate like you.

As soon as George and Brad finally get together and share their love, they will both put on some weight and get a little colour on their faces. Don’t deny the love!

Here’s George leaving his hotel in NYC today holding on to his boo-boo.