Faith Hill poses in a bikini for the first time ever on the cover of next month’s issue of Shape magazine. What gave her the bravery to take the “bikini plunge” at the ripe ol’ age of 41? Besides the 18 cumulative man-hours of Photoshop… Pilates, of course! People magazine quotes her as saying:

“[Pilates] was so hard, but ultimately so worth it. My core is much stronger, and my arms are more toned. In fact, wearing a bikini on a magazine cover is my 41st birthday present to myself.

I [can] bend in ways I haven’t been able to since I was a teenager. My husband [Tim McGraw] loves it!”

Pretty lame birthday present to yourself, if you ask me. I would have bought myself some diamonds or a new Aston Martin or one of those Swedish massages from Juandissimo the randy pool boy at the Happy Ending parlor on 7th. Something that says, “I might be old and obselete, but I can still buy happiness!” See Hugh Hefner for details.

Faith Hill was performing in Lafayette, Louisiana over the weekend when a fan grabbed her husband Tim McGraw’s crotch. Faith scolded the fan, saying:

“Somebody needs to teach you some class, my friend. You don’t go grabbin’ somebody else’s — somebody’s husband’s balls, you understand me? That’s very disrespectful.”

That’s some intensely profound advice right there. Only in Louisiana would you have to tell somebody that grabbing another woman’s husband’s balls is frowned upon. It’s no wonder she turned out the stylish princess that she is. I’m surprised she doesn’t speak with a British accent and say things like, “Mahvelous, dear!”