The New York Post and Gawker have uncovered another of one former Gov. Eliot Spitzer’s whores. Her name is Kristin “Billie” Davis. At least with this one, his wife can say “What does she do for you that I can’t?! Hold on…hmmm…never mind. Hey – you didn’t really have hemorrhoids, did you?”

I don’t even know why this is news but it was in People so I’m running with it. The whore that brought down upstanding New York governor Eliot Spitzer enjoyed a relaxing spa day with her mother over the weekend. All together now: awwwww. A source at the spa told People:

“I know she’s been under a lot of stress so I hope we relaxed her.”

This may be the first time in Ashley’s life she received a facial and wasn’t paid for it afterwards. ZING!

A $1 million offer made to Ashley Alexandra Dupre (a.k.a Spitzer’s Whore) by Girls Gone Wild hit a teensy snafu when it was discovered that Dupre already appeared in one of the videos when she was just 18. Ever the shrewd businessman/piece of fucking shit, founder Joe Francis quickly retracted his offer and now plans to re-release the old footage.

“I met her on spring break at the Girls Gone Wild beach house in April 2003,” Francis tells PEOPLE. “She got into the Jacuzzi. … She threw her arms around me. I never made the connection that this was Ashley. But my cameraman had been in touch with her for a while. I didn’t make the connection until really recently. Then it was like: that’s Ashley!”

Well if it’s any conciliation, Ashley — I hope you at least stole his wallet. And hey, I’m sure there’s other opportunities out there! After millions of parents breathed a sign of relief when realizing that it wasn’t their kid, I’m thinking maybe poster child for pro-choice advocacy? I can see it now: “Ashley Alexandra Dupre: Because You Never Know How the Cookie’s Gonna Crumble.”