David Cook Wins American Idol!

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Oh shit! David Cook took candy away from David Archuleta and won this motherfucker. I’m seriously saying a few silent prayers tonight for Fetus Archuleta. He’s not my thing, but I’m cringing just thinking about the beat downs that are coming his way. You know his daddy is getting his belt ready.

As for the rest of the show… GAY EXTRAVAGANZA! You know how Simon always compares bad performances to “cruise ship performances.” This shit was epitome of cruise ship entertainment! Entertainment on a fucking gay cruise.