Alex Rodriguez’ wife Cynthia announced that she is filing for divorce first thing this morning, citing the Yankee star’s relationship with Madonna as “the final straw.” Cynthia claims that Madonna used her religion to exude some kind of mind control over A-Rod. According to the NY Daily News

“This all started with kabbalah,” said the friend. “Alex told Cynthia that he’d discovered that he’d been looking for his soul mate. And now, he said, he’d found her.”

Cynthia Rodriguez told a friend, “I feel like Madonna is using mind control over him. I don’t recognize the man he’s become. He was a sweet, beautiful, loving husband and father. Today he’s very cold and calculating.”

Madonna issued the following statement in response:

“I am not romantically involved in any way with Alex Rodriguez. I have nothing to do with the state of his marriage or what spiritual path he may choose to study. I have learned over the years not to take accusations and the many false reports about me very seriously. I also appreciate how fiction and fact seem to be perceived as one and the same by people who read both newspapers and the internet.”

It’s not the power of Kabbalah that’s brainwashed A-Rod, it’s the power of the poontang. Unfortunately for Cynthia, she never had a chance competing with Madonna in that department since Madge’s screwed more Latino men than La Migra. But perhaps this is all just a big misunderstanding. The “Material Girl” is probably just dating A-Rod because she’s looking for more genetic material.

The other day it was rumoured that Alex Rodriguez was seeing Madonna but her rep has said that they are just friends. And today several sources have reported that it is A-Rod who is the one being cheated on.

Radar claims that A-Rod’s wife is doing it with Lenny Kravitz. Lenny reportedly did it with Madonna in the early 90s. SLUTS! All of them! A bunch of buff sluts! They probably do each other with barbells.

According to the NY Post, A-Rod’s man-wife, Cynthia Rodriguez, is currently in Paris and has been seen at Lenny’s house a few times. Cynthia barely popped out her second child with A-Rod in April. She left the kids at home in Florida while she went to wave her muscley vagina around Paris.

Could this situation get any more convoluted? All we need to do is add Verne Troyer and oh, I don’t know, maybe Amy Winehouse, into the mix and then we can call it a party!