Oh look, here’s Beyoncé performing at General Motors Place, the third stop on her Sasha Fierce tour. I still think the whole Sasha Fierce thing is dumb as hell, and I see Beyoncé is still dressing like a complete silly. On the other hand, this week is so boring that there’s a fair chance I might actually die of boredom by tomorrow afternoon, and these pictures are ever so a little more interesting than looking at protesters of the G20 Summit.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Movie sets are a charming place. Most of the team is made up of union lifers in cut off sweatpants rubbing their nuts as they stand 10 feet away from a love scene, and most of the cast got hired based on a series of blowjobs. Or they’re big stars, like Christian Bale. He seems delightful. Except in this audio from the set of “Terminator: Salvation”, where he says “fuck” 37 times in 3 minutes and 45 seconds, demands the director of photography be fired for walking on the set and at one point has to be restrained from attacking the man. Other than that I mean.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Steve Guttenberg, who you might remember as Mahoney from the Police Academy movies and the gay one from “Three Men and a Baby,” enjoyed an afternoon constitutional through the park sans pants while training for the New York City Marathon last month. It’s the very realization of everything that my grandma feared about the Big City — pantless Jews with blurry genitals accosting innocent passersby in the park. But the way Grandma always told it, there should have been a gang of thugs with a taste for white women wielding shanks and a couple of post-op transsexuals fornicating on a park bench. The City That Never Sleeps is also The City That Never Wears Pants, she always said! That’s why we decided in the end to have Grandma put down.

Courtney Love was in crazy full-effect in Malibu, and even caught a ride in a shopping cart. Her fella pushed her along as she grabbed at her paw, cigarette in hand. I’m not really sure what Courtney was doing in Malibu over the weekend, but I guess she decided to take her crazy-lady-in-ballet-slippers title back from Amy Winehouse, or she was trying to scare the crap out of the old, rich white people. “Ahhh, a homeless person, ruuuuun!!!”

Supermodel and excellent ass kicker, Naomi Campbell, was officially charged for allegedly beating and spitting at cops during an incident at Heathrow in April. Naomi was thrown off of a flight, because… well… because she’s a bitch. Cops were called and that’s when shit went down.

Naomi was charged with five offenses – three counts of assaulting a constable, one of disorderly conduct likely to cause harassment, alarm or distress and one of using threatening or abusive words or behavior to cabin crew. Basically, she was charged for being a crazy ass bitch.

Her lawyer told reporters outside the police station:

“Miss Campbell is bitterly disappointed that the prosecutors have advised her she is to be prosecuted for various offences. She respects that decision and she hopes this matter is dealt with expeditiously.”

Translation: Naomi is going to kill prosecutors using her bare teeth only.

Naomi is due in court on June 20th.

These are the only Naomi Campbell pictures we ever post. And they’re with Naomi naked ( NSFW, of course):

Click here to view the embedded video.

Paula Abdul confusing us and herself when she let the Vicodin tea get the best of her while judging Jason Castro. Paula judged Jason for two songs even though he sang just one. Paula tried to explain to ET what the hell happened.

Paula said:

“It got very confusing … the producers come up to us in the dark and said, ‘We are not going to have you guys judge after each performer, we are going to have all the performers go once, then twice and at the end critique them. “

Paula said this surprised her, so she quickly tried to write notes for all performances. When Ryan called on her to judge Jason, she got confused.

“I was trying to give my critique for Jason Castro, and scribbled Jason’s name, and that was DAVID [COOK]’s! … We all just screwed up everything. This is live television. This is fun!”

Oh Paula! Just take another sip from your Coca-Cola cup, sit in the corner and count all the little elves you see scurrying around in front of you. I’m sure that will keep you busy for a few hours.

Thank the fuck for Paula Abdul! She was the only source of real entertainment on last night’s show! I even forgot what the hell any of them sang. The only thing I remember is Fetus Archuleta belting out “America.” He’s no Kristy Lee Cook and I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing.

Basically, the toddler and David Cook are safe. Those two saps are going to battle it out in the finals. Please, this has been planned for weeks. So…here’s my bottom 2:

Brooke White: It’s this snatch’s time. I can’t stand to look at her “secretary trying to be fashionable” outfits anymore. I also find myself making her “woe is me” grimace whenever she comes onstage. I can already predict how she’s going to ruin a song before she starts singing. She sits at the piano and does her absolute worse Tori Amos impersonation. Bitch is going home tonight and I’ll toast to that!

Syesha Mercado: It’s either Jason or this Broadway fag. The stoners will keep Jason alive for a couple more weeks. He’s final 3.

Honestly, they should just eliminate all of those hags and declare Paula Abdul the winner of American Idol. She’s one of the only reasons for watching this shit anymore.

Peter Falk has officially gone off the deep end. The actor looked “dazed and confused” while walking around in Beverly Hills. The Daily Mail says:

The two-time Oscar nominee was spotted waving his arms in the air and muttering to himself. Another passer-by, who refused to be named, said the star looked to be disorientated. Someone eventually called police, but when officers arrived on the scene Falk convinced them that he didn’t need help.

Old people do this sometimes. The smallest shit will piss them off so immensely and they will rant and rave. The second anyone goes to check on them they give you the nastiest attitude and get offended and will say “I don’t need your help!” It doesn’t take muttering and arm waving to tell this dude’s crazy. Just look at that plaid shirt. Everyone knows that stripes are this season’s hot pattern.

Apparently Brittany Murphy forgot that she’s not important. She’s been acting like a total diva on the set of her new movie and driving the crew crazy with her outrageous demands. An insider told Page Six:

“She’s extremely difficult. When she gets to the set, it comes to a grinding halt. She’s so hot and cold, you never know.” According to our sources, Murphy insists on having diagonally cut peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with the crusts removed. “She needs one every hour. It’s painstaking — her assistant takes about a half an hour making each one.”

I guess this is why I can’t work in Hollywood, I specifically answered on the questionnaire: – ” You are asked to make a diagonally cut PBJ with no crusts. You response? ” I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I’d be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Yesterday, Radar, Huffington Post, Gawker and Celebitchy posted this Scientology video with that fanatical Tom Cruise essentially babbling the entire time. It’s 9-minutes of insanity and it’s scaring me. It’s getting pulled off of YouTube left and right, so I’m pretty sure this one will go next. Get it while it’s hot and if it’s gone, do a search in YouTube. It will haunt my dreams.

If you watch the video, DO NOT LOOKS HIM IN THE EYES. Sincerely, you don’t want to take any chances. He might hypnotize your ass or something.

The background music is a nice touch, but they really should’ve used the theme song for “Twilight Zone” instead. That would have been more fitting.

No, it’s Lauryn Hill!

Sincerely, I love Lauryn but has she gone mental? Or maybe she doesn’t and that’s why she put this atrocious outfit together. I’m into it though. I can handle the crazy but I’ve always hated clowns.

Someone really needs to give this woman her own reality show!